Lost Memories (Taehyung x Jennie) [Book 2]

◆ Sixty ◆

(NOTE:     YEOROBUN! Be ready for everything! Don't skip any word. Don't try to scroll down when you're not ready! Just don't skip and be ready.)

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A night have passed already...
But still...he's asleep.

- Jennie

I am here...
Beside him...
Leaning my head to the bed he was on.
Waiting for him to wake up.

Still thinking that this is my fault.
I do blame myself now.
That's what everyone wants...
Even my friends...they are...

"It is painful that no one had comforted me the time I asked everyone if it's my fault. Silence means yes, people say. Base on my own experience...yes, it is."

"Can they just smack me in the head?
Or curse me? It's better that way than hiding what they really thinking about me."

"If I haven't been unfair, then at least we're all fine now even though there's the possibility that I'd still be cold...but then...here we are...here I am..."

"Everything happened because of me."

"He's sleeping because of me."

"Right?"

"He's lying down there...becauuse of me."

"Taehyung-a."

I started sobbing as I thought of his name.

"Wake up. Please. Be mad at me. Scold me. Curse me. Swear on me. But please, be fine now. I can't stand seeing you like this. Please. I don't want to see you in a way like this. Taehyung-a."

I sobbed even more.
I believe, everyone in the room are abke to hear me crying. I can also feel their eyes are at me. But I don't bother looking at any of them, a pain pinches my heart when I realized...

I have no one left beside me...
They are not walking towards me to comfort me now that I need someone to hug me and tell me that Taehyung's fine and that he's going to wake up.

It is also painful that the way they are not talking to me now...is a proof that they are really blaming me.

Even Jisoo...
Chaeyoung...
Lisa...

"I feel guilty whenever I'm going to remember the scene I saw your blood is flowing along the wet road. I feel sorry, mad and guilty. I'm mad at myself...I'm cursing myself. I wish I could just die before we end up here. I just wish to die even before II got amnesia. You shouldn't save me from the building. You should just let me die there."

I continued sobbing...
While holding his cold hand.
That cold hand that used to interlocked with my hand warmly. The hand that touches my skin and caressed me. The hand that I used to massage when I'm in the mood to. The hand which I wore the ring.

I noticed...
The ring is still in his finger.
As I felt it with my fingers, I held his hand tighter and cried harder.

"I miss he way you caressed my cheeks.
Or pinch it. Or even the way you cupped my face."

"Why are you sleeping?
Are you lack of sleep?
I hope it's the reason but...no, it's not.

The reason is...because of me."

"Taehyung-a.

Please wake up immediately."

"Look at me and tell me you love me."

"I have forgiven you already, so please, wake up now. Stand uo and hug me tight.

Tighter than you're always doing."

"I miss you, Taehyung..."

I tried to control.myself from sobbing since it's all awkward and embarassing that I'm sobbing all alone by myself.

I lifted my head a bit to wipe the tears off of my face...all by myself.

I smiled...
I chuckled as I saw all of them looking at me with both anger and worry.

Their expressions and feeligs for me are mixed. So ironic yet...so sad.

"Mianhe."
     I apologized while smiling and wipping the tears from my face.

I can't look at them straight...
I feel empty and I feel embarrass cause these is all my fault.

Suddenly...
I felt a pain urges to my head.

I hissed in pain silently.
I held my head with my hands and tried to refuse it from aching.

I took a deep breath and relaxed myself.

Everyone's looking at me blankly...
Like they already know what's happening to me but they don't want to go near me.

I feel so alone...
This feeling is stronger than the pain my head is experiencing now.
Thanks to that, I can ignore my head ache now.

I just leaned down my head once again ti my forearms while my free-hand is holding Taehyung's hand.

"Wake up now.
You should be the one who's taking care of me now.

Taehyung-a.

Wake up.
I don't know what to do anymore...
Please..

I just need you and your love.
Wake uo now."

I sobbed once again this night...
But this time...
I'm smiling at myself, trying to refrain the thought that no one's comforting me.

"No one's beside me now, Taehyung-a.
You're the only one I can trust now.

So, wake up.

I have many reasons for you to wake up.
You're still going to face a punishment, right? Wake up for me now.

Taehyung-a.....

Sarang...hae...."