Lost Memories (Taehyung x Jennie) [Book 2]

◆ Sixty - One ◆

Another night have passed...
But what's new?
Nothing...he's still asleep.

- Jennie

"Jennie."
      I tilted my head to look at Jisoo.

"We're going to eat. Kaja."
      After the past few days, we haven't eat together normally.

Well, I'll casually eat by myself cause I'll refuse going. Or maybe if they are going to eat, I'm sleeping on my arm.

I took a deep breath and looked at Taehyung...and I decided to go with them.

I stood up silently and gave the sign that I'm going to follow her.

As she started leading the path, I followed and gazed on her back.

"Eonnie...are you mad?"

I wanted to ask her but...even looking atnher eyes makes me anxious.

I bowed my head trying to prevent my eyes from tearing. I immediately shook the thought and raised my chin up.

And as we reached the table.
I saw Lisa and Chaeyoung smacking each other in shoulders and laughing.

But the second they saw me...
They just looked at me and let out a tiny smile to greet me.

I bowed a bit to greet them too.
Then I took the seat between Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

Few minutes and our foods are served.
No one's talking but I can see some naughty smile from Jimin and Jungkook asif they are teasing each other.

Then later on...
While we are all eating...

"Jisoo, noona! What if Jin likes you?"
      Jungkook asked and Jisoo immediately lifted her head, her eyes widened as she look at Jungkook.

Jin suddenly slapped Jungkook's back.

"HYUNG!"
      Jungkook yelled in pain.
He groaned and after that, he kept himself quiet.

The girls stared at Jisoo, evilishly smiling at her.

Jisoo glared at Chaeyoung and Lisa.

"Mianhe, Jisoo. Jungkook's just teasing us. Let's continue eating."
      Jin explained.
And gave Jungkook a death glare.

I looked at my food after the scene...
I stared at it for seconds.
I have taken only few bites but now...
I don't have the appetite to eat.

"I have question...
This question has been asked from the past as well. I'm always asking this whenever we are in a conflict...

Why fo we have to experience things oike this?

Is it really necessary?"

I thought looking at the food.

"Taehyung-a...."

I called his name through my mind.
My eyes automatically closed.
I took a deep breath.

I know the people I'm with started looking at me blanked again...but I can't help...so, I informed...

"I'll be going back to the room. Thanks for the food. Excuse me."
     I bowed a bit again, and started walking away.

I walked straight ahead to the Taehyung's room.

The light was off.
I walked towards him with a normal pace.
My eyes landed to his face which is being shined by the moon.

I remember the time he kissed me, that only the moon beam was our source of light.

My eyes started to get watery while looking at my man who's unconscious because of me.

No minutes...
My tears began to flow slowly down to my cheeks.

"Why can't we have a normal relationship? Why?"

Again...
I asked that question.

"You're suffering because you love me.
I should do something and loosen the burden for you...I'm so sorry, Taehyung-a."

Upon seeing him in this way...
I need to decide something...

So, I walked outside sobbing and sniffing a bit. But I managed to walk out side of the hospital without getting noticed.

It's early but dark already.
I've yone to the park where he bought me to make me remember things, the lake side park. The sun was already down and several stars are showing already.

I sat on one of the bench.
Good thing...

No one's here.
I released my hands from my jacket's pocket.

I took out something...

I stared at it and thinking about what can I do about it.

"If I do it...
I believe everyone will be in pain but the burden for them will be loosen down."

I took a deep breath again.
And landed my eyes to what I am holding.

"If...I ever do it...

I wish....

They will remember me not because of the trouble I have done to them...

But because of the good things I have made for them."

"I'm always sorry if I have done something wrong...

I get guilty easily...

I'm considerate as well, they told me.

But now...those things are nothing...

Being regretful is nothing....
He's already sufferung too much.
He had enough...as well as myself."

"I'm so sorry...
For everything that I have cause.

I'm so sorry...
For being a burden to everyone.

I'm all sorry...
And this is the only thing I can do now."

Yes...
I'm holding a blade...
The one that I'm staring for minutes.

I closed my eyes to relax myself and to fix my thoughts....

Then....

I started....

"I'm all sorry..."