Why I Run {Prinxiety} - Book One of Why I Run Series

Chapter Nineteen

Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Flashback (cont.)

For a while after I had gathered myself all back together, neither of us moved.  I was still curled close to Anx, even though my tears had long faded.  I wanted to stay there in that cozy place forever, hiding from the world.

But feeling as though I owed him an apology, I pulled back, wiping my cheeks. Anx didn't say anything, letting me get myself together. I peaked to see his eyes were wide with concern and partly curiosity through his bangs, though I assumed he would never act on it himself.

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts.

"I - I was eight when I lost my wings," I admitted, tossing a slight glance at my wings.  I stretched them out gently and smiled a bit at the feeling. Gosh, I had missed this.

I avoided Anx's eyes, choosing to focus on the small gold strap on my shoulder (A/N: at this point, we're still at Roman and Virgil 1.0 - sorry if I didn't make that clear) which was refusing to stay of my shoulder. "I wanted to practice fighting not using my powers - I knew that if I got too badly injured in battle, my powers might not be usable or safe to rely on. So I locked my powers up in a jar and practiced," I told him.  "I thought... it - I thought it would help make me better.

"I - I practiced moves all day," I continued. "And sure, it felt uncomfortable, but I just figured that was normal. I just assumed it was a side affect to tucking my powers away. I simply continued to practice... which turned out to be a... mistake to put it lightly.

"Everyday, I wish I could tell myself... give myself a warning," I said, glancing at Anx momentarily.  Anxiety's eyes were darkening, knowing that this story was far from over and far from a happy ending.

"I don't remember how long I practiced that day," I continued, "But I practiced for a long, long time. Way longer than my usual practice time, which at that time was already six hours.  I wanted to make sure I was the best. And what kind of Prince couldn't fight?  So I must've practiced like that for... for what must have been nearly twelve hours straight," I admitted.

Anx's eyes widened slightly at the number, but he didn't say anything and he let me continue.

"I was in the middle of practicing this one maneuver that was giving me a bit of trouble, when I felt it. It was like something- something just snapped in me and I crumpled to the floor, screaming. At first it was nothing but pain - to the point where I passed out and woke up maybe a couple seconds later to complete agony. I curled into a ball, tucking my legs underneath me. After about a half-hour of just pure PAIN, it mixed with intense loss.

"I didn't move.  I didn't understand what happened.  All I knew it that something was very wrong and I wasn't sure exactly what it was.

"It was Patton who found me, noticing that I skipped dinner to practice and came to bring me a plate.  I didn't know it was him at the time - too dizzy with pain to see anything - but I heard a scream something was incredibly wrong, but I was still too dizzy with pain to know what at the time, or even open my eyes.

"I vaguely remember hearing Patton call for Logan - using Logan and not Logic, even though I didn't know his name at the time.  Logan noticed the jar and hurried up, unleashing my powers.  I remember feeling a big rush and the pain of it suddenly disappeared. But I still felt this massive dead weight even though the sharp pain had faded.  But I still felt this deep, deep loss and I couldn't figure out why.  Patton and Logan carried me to my room and I fell asleep instantly, exhausted between the fighting and the pain.

"When I woke up the next morning, I didn't feel like I could even move - everything just felt so heavy. But after a while I opened my eyes to find Patton and Logan at my side - the both of them with dark circles under their eyes from lack of sleep.  Patton's eyes gave it away first, eyes flicking nervously to my back and I frowned in confusion, turning my head to look.