Why I Run {Prinxiety} - Book One of Why I Run Series

Chapter Twenty-Two

Point of View: Roman, First Person
Timeline: Flashback (cont.)

"I asked if you want me to do it again."

I tried not to let Anxiety see the flicker of uncertainty in my own eyes.  I had made my move. But he did feel the same? Our kiss had felt so incredibly right.  Oh my stars, I just wanted to kiss him again, but I knew that I needed his permission to - to do that again.

Anxiety's wide eyes locked on mine and he didn't say anything for a moment. "I - I don't know," he whispered, honestly, voice low.

I pulled back, painfully making my way to my feet.  I smiled through my hurt pride even as I felt the rejection sting my rejected heart.

Better to forget this, forget him before I could hurt my heart even more.

"Ready to go again?" I asked, changing the subject, holding my hand out to help Anxiety up from the floor - who was still sitting there looking rather stunned. I didn't want to hear him explain why he didn't know or hear his excuses. I'd rather just move on like it never happened and forget all of this.

Except for the fact the I kept replaying our kiss in my head, thinking about how right it felt to me and being partly amazed that he didn't seem to feel the same or - apparently - anything at all.

Anxiety took my hand, eyes scanning my face - trying to read me.  I just smiled - hiding my true feelings under a wave of cockiness.  "So does that mean you're going to take the initiative now that you know you can't hurt me?" I forced a grin, pushing our kiss to the back of my mind.

Or trying to.

"I - Roman why did you do that?" Anxiety said once he was one his feet, his voice low and quiet -not allowing me to change the subject.

I stood there speechless, averting my eyes downwards, away from his.  What could I say?

When I didn't respond, Anxiety walked away from me, picking up his staff from where he had thrown it and put it back in it's proper rack.  "Well, come and find me when you do," he said simply, grabbing his boots and walking out without even bothering to put them on.

The pain came as soon as the door shut behind him..

I stumbled to a nearby bench and gasped in pain the moment he walked out the door.  It was a sharp, insistent pain right in the center of my chest.  

I held still, not moving until the pain had faded.

What... what was that?

__________

"Uh - Roman, what a - uh - a surprise to.... see you?" Logan finished uncertainly, both looking surprised and confused to see me at his door.

"Something happened to me," I said curtly, taking his words as permission to enter his room.

Logan's room was simple for the most part - a classy black and white, with a big light blue accent wall covered in fat gray swirls.  It actually didn't look too bad.  His queen-sized bed was tucked in the far corner, next to a large dark gray bookshelf that put my own collection to shame.  (I mean - it had a ladder attached, just for some perspective).

His desk was black and close to the door, where he was currently sitting, notebook with his block-style handwriting, dark and certain.  Logan twisted in his chair, facing me and giving me his attention, notebook forgotten in this concern. 

If I was here, I was here for a reason and he knew that better than anyone.

"Something happened to me," I explained, unfolding a black chair that was leaning on the wall nearby and settling it down next to Logan and spinning so the back of it faced Logan, before settling down myself, the back of the chair resting gently against my stomach.