Langst one shots

12AM

Why welcome I thought I would write more... guess not, well here is Langst and lets just say instead of maybe a year of them being in space like 3, and this doesn't fit in with any of the seasons, cool? Ok? Good to the story.

Most people say their dark thoughts come at 3am, for Lance that was 12am. He could be sleeping peacefully but he would always awake at 12am from a nightmare. Not a minute before or after 12am. Always when it was 12. The dreams were always different, yet they all included death. This one particular night...it was his death. He had been going through stuff. I mean it had been 3 years since he went into space, only a week since Keith was rescued from the galra, after being stuck there for a month. So this was not the time for Lance to let out his emotions. His brain has been feeding him 'good' ideas. Like cutting and starvation and suicide. Which are not good, so when he wakes up at 12 am that causes him to go to his bathroom and try not to cut. It ends almost every night with cutting. Then him going back to bed. But this night. He forgot to lock his doors. And he woke up crying he sat in his bed for a while crying. Then started writing. He couldn't handle it. Every single night. Someone in his family or in Voltron or him, would die. When it was him he'd feel the pain when it was someone else he could feel himself holding them. It was all to real. Lance wrote about some of it in his note, he wrote how he was depressed how he thought he was a third wheel. About everything. He went to the bathroom and grabbed his razor. He went back to his bed and sat down next to his note and put the razor to his arm. And he started to cut. Opening old ones and making new deeper ones. He was crying again and a sob broke through. As he lifted the razor to his neck.  He started to cut. He stopped and and fell to the floor with razor still in hand. Just sobbing. Thinking how he could do this to his family and friends. I'm so selfish only thinking of myself. That phrase kept repeating in his head. He kept crying. Little did he know Keith was up from a night terror too and he was walking around and heard a soft crying. He went in the direction of the crying. Stopping in front of Lances room. He didn't know why he was crying. Figuring he was just home sick. Keith walked in and saw Lance curled up in a ball in his own blood with razor in hand, crying.
"Lance! My god what happened!"
Lance just kept crying and hitting his head and mumbling something.
"stupid stupid stupid..."
"Lance, Lance! What happened!"
"Mmm, whats going on Keith why are you yelling at Lance?" Pidge mumbled with tiredness.
"I think Lance hurt himself!"
"What? Wait what!"
"Help me get him up!"
They carried him to the to the med bay, where they put Lance in a pod. Lance had stopped crying but he kept mumbling.
"Why the fuck did he hurt himself?" Keith was stunned he was always so happy.
"I think I saw a not one his bed." Pidge and Keith started to run. Keith got to the note first.
In my time in Voltron I am unaware of unintentional error. My dreams are filled to the brim with you my family or myself dying. I feel myself holding the person who is dying. I feel the pain of me dying. I know I am highly depressed. I could just never tell you. We had to may things on our minds I couldn't add to that. So with that, Shiro don't beat yourself up over my death. Allura all the flirting was a facade, you did nothing wrong, you were like a sister I never had. Hunk, buddy. Don't stress bake to much. I'll miss you. Pidge, you computer genius. Don't forget to sleep, go find your family, have Matt fly blue, by what you tell me he'll get along with her. Coran, you were like my uncle always there for me, don't beat yourself over this either. And Keith, I loved you, I hid my feelings because I was afraid you'd hate me. So if you liked me then don't feel bad about my death. It was none of your guys's faults. I love you all and goodbye.
Love,
Lance McClain

Holy shit. Lance had a lot of demons that Keith or anybody ever thought of. He wanted to die. And he tried.