Heartthrobs and Secret Admirers (A Lippa FanFiction)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Renee

Warning: This chapter is pretty dark and may contain ideas of suicide. If you don't want to read that part then read up to were Renee is looking for the big tree then skip the last sentence.

Renee's POV:

Renee: Lin where are you? I don't want to leave Pippa alone and its getting late. Why aren't you answering my calls?

I've been trying to get a hold of Lin for the past two hours. Jasmine and I should be heading home soon but I can't leave Pippa alone right now. She is going through so much.

I couldn't even imagine something like this happening to Pippa and Lin. It just seems like everytime things start to settle down something else happens that breaks them down.

"It's all my fault." I hear Pippa say barely above a whisper.

"How in the fuck is is your fault Pippa? Rachel kidnapped your daughter because she is a fucking jealous psycotic bitch. Non of that is your fault." You can always count on Jasmine to tell you facts.

She"I'm the one who wanted me and Lin to get back together. It's my fault she got jealous." Pipa curls back into a ball and begins singing again.

"Stop blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. She wasn't dating Lin so he was fair game. It's not your fault she couldn't move on."

I eventually sooth her to sleep by rubbing her back softly and humming random tunes. I try calling Lin again but I get no response.

"Jazzy can you say here with Pippa? I'm going to go find Lin." She nods her head and I'm out the door.

While driving to the theater I call Lin again, thus time I leave a voicemail.

"Where the fuck are you Lin? Pippa needs your help! She is falling apart and blanking all of this on herself. You wanted to be with her so bad then you aren't there when she needs you most. I thought you cared about her more than that. Maybe you're just being a coward again."

I know it signs hurtful but Lin needs to hear it, he needs to wake up and get his shit together for Pippa.

I know I disapproved of their relationship before but that was because I thought it was just a hook up thing and I thought they were both going to get hurt in the end. Now I see they have so much more and if Lin doesn't get his but to his apartment and comfort his girlfriend and save Lippa I'm going to beat his ass.

Once I get to the theater I run inside looking for Lin. I check everywhere but don't find him. Where the fuck is he?

"Oh hey Renee nice to see you again! What are you doing here?" Tommy comes up to me and gives me a big hug. "I haven't heard from Lin and Pippa needs him right now so I came looking for him."

Tommy gives me a confused look. "He left a few hours ago. He got really emotional during quite up town and ran out. Haven't seen him since. I just assumed it was all to much and he went home." I maintain my composer and calmly explain the situation to Tommy.

"I've been calling for the past few hours trying to get a hold of him. Pippa really needs him right now but he won't answer. If he isn't here then where is he?" I take a deal breath to stop me from going off.

"Well there is this one place he used to go to when he needed to do something thinking. Only me Andy and Lac know." He just pauses.

"Okay... Where is this secret place?"

Grabs a piece of paper and writes down an address. "You didn't get this from me." He walks away without say bye, like nothing happened.

I get in my car and type in the address. Fort Washington park 1hr and 13 min drive. *enternal eye roll* On the back of the paper it says little red light house.

During my hour long car ride I'm able to rehears what I will say to Lin. I think about going the easy route because it's not just Pippa dealing with this Lin is too but I change my mind. They could be helping eachother right bow but instead he runs off to some little red light house.

I get to the park and see a sign with the trails on it. Nice and easy I like it. I start on my way to the light house and all the anger that I was suppressing at the theater is coming out.

I get to the light house and walk around. Nothing. No one. This place is completely empty. Now I'm furious I just spent and hour and a half in traffic for nothing I'm tired of hunting down his ass. I get back in my car and call Tommy.

"Hey Renee did you find him?"

"No I did not find him he isn't fucking here!"

"You check everywhere by the light house?"

"Yes! Why would I be calling you if I didn't."

"There is one more place he might be. He made a little shrine to Vanessa in the cemetery a little bit down the street from there. It's in the woods-"

"Now I have to go in the woods? Pippa sure is lucky I love her enough to run around town looking for her boyfriend."

"Yeah she is. There is a really big tree in the middle of a bunch of normal size trees in the woods to the right of the entrance. That's where Lin made the shrine."

"Thank you Tommy."

I find the cemetery on my GPS. 20 min to drive a couple of miles. I hate new york traffic.

I finally pull up to the cemetery. Thinking about where Lin is I feel less angry at him. Everyone keeps focusing on everything Pippa has been through the past year but Lin has been through just as much. I start feeling guilty about my angry feelings towards him.

I find the giant tree and start walking straight into the woods. As I get closer I see Lin. He is on his knees crying with his forehead against the tree. He mumbles something but all I can make out is 'I'm sorry'.

He pulls a razor blade out of his pocket. I run through the tree as fast as I can. I feel small branches cutting my arms and legs. I yell for Lin to stop but nothing comes out.

He hears me running and turns his head. He gives me a look of desperation. I get to him and see I wasn't fast enough. Both of his wrist are cut and oozing blood. He falls against me as he looses consciousness. I don't know what to do.

I call 911 for help and squeeze his wrist to stop them from bleeding. After what feels like an eternity the parametric arrive. They take control of helping Lin and direct me to another area.

They keep asking me questions but all I do is watch as they take Lin away. I try directing me away from the scene but I still don't speak. They give up on trying to talk and tend to my wounds. They aren't that bad, they probably just want to stay by me.

After Lin is gone a lady shows up flaming to be a therapist. She starts talking to me but I can't hear anything she says. I just keep replaying the whole scene in my head. My ears are filled with the cracking sound of the branches. My legs sting as I feel each of those branches striking them.

One thought is racing around in my head. How am I going to tell Pippa I wasn't fast enough?

A/N
Well that turned out a lot darker than I thought it would. Happy December 1st!
~K