Heartthrobs and Secret Admirers (A Lippa FanFiction)

Chapter Eight: The Competition

Lin's POV:

It has been six weeks since I lost the love of my life and three weeks since I blew my second chance by over reacting about flowers. Every Friday she comes home with something from her secret admirer. It hurts to say it but I think that who ever it is makes her happy. Happier than when she was with me, even if we were only friends.

Pippa and I haven't talked about her secret admirer since that first night but I don't think she knows who it is. We are still close but not as close as we were a few weeks ago. Part of me wishes that I never told Pippa that I still want an us, but I feel like if I didn't tell her how I felt then, it wouldn't have come out and I would hold some kind of resentment against her.

I have the apartment to myself for a while this morning, then I have a meeting with Disney later today. Pippa is taking Sebastian out to the park then she was going to drop him off at daycare. He is probably the only reason that she is still here. I made everything really awkward about the flowers.

I hear Pippa unlocking the door so I go to the living room to greet her. When Pippa enters I see she is in a rather good mood.

"Hey Pip, I was thinking that we could go out on a family outing tonight after my meeting. We haven't done that for while and it's Monday so we have the night off. You in?" Her glowing smile turns to disappointment. "Not like a date just a little outing with Sebby." I don't want to sound like a date, or like I want us to be a family, even though I want that desperately.

"Lin, I've been thinking about how to tell you this, I have a date tonight." Her eyes are watching me to see how I react, but I don't know how to react.

Pippa with someone other than me? It makes me mad, no it makes me furious. How could she chose to be with someone else when I was willing to do anything to be with her. It also makes me sad. How could I not be enough for her. I did everything I could to make her happy. I feel betrayed. Why someone else?

"Oh. Um that's cool. So I guess you found out who your secret admirer is." I try to play off how I feel inside.

"Yeah. It was Daveed. I'm going on a date with Daveed." She tries to cover up how excited she is but I can see it.

I want to yell why Daveed? I want to question Pippa why am I not good enough? What does Daveed have to offer that I don't? Why not me?

I know if any of these questions slip out that I will regret it. That would only make my situation worse than it already is. The woman I love is going on a date with one of my closet friends. I love Pippa? Yes! I love Pippa!

"I love you Phillipa." Why did I say that. I want to punch my self in the face right now. God what am I doing.

All Pippa does is stare at me. Why is she just staring? I take a step forward towards her and she takes a step back crying.

"Pippa, I'm sorry. It slipped out."  We were finally getting back to normal, why did I have to open my mouth? Now we are back at square one.

I take another step towards her to comfort her, this time she doesn't back away. I pull her into my chest and she breaks down. I've missed having Pippa so close to me, holding her like this makes it feel like she is mine again. Even if it will only last for a moment.

After a few minutes of standing like this I finally talk. "I'm sorry for blurting that out Pippa, but its true I love you. It hurts me every Friday when you bring home flowers from another guy. I thought knowing who it was would make it easier but it doesn't. I'm sorry for all the pressure I've been putting on you for the past month. I-" I am cut off my Pippa's lips meeting mine.

Out of shock I don't kiss back causing Pippa to stop. "There is just so much going on I don't know the right thing to do Lin. I'm sorry about the kiss." Gosh why didn't I kiss back? That's what I want.

"Don't be sorry." I kiss her and feel her kiss me back. The kiss deepens and we move to the couch. Suddenly Pippa is on top of me and starts to undress me starting with my shirt. "Pip are you sure?" She shrugs and says "Im not sure of anything recently." She continues to undress me taking off my belt.

I flip over putting Pippa under me and take off her shirt. I start kissing her again wondering what I did right this time to end up in this situation.

After we finish Pippa and I cuddle for a while and talk. "Lin, I need you to know that just because this happened doesn't mean that we are a thing. I just need more time to think, I'm sorry I made this more complicated." she sounds scared to even say it.

I wish this meant Pippa was ready to be with me but I'm not surprised she still needs to process everything that has happened. We went from barely talking to having sex on the couch in one day.

"Hey I understand Pip. I just want you to know you can talk to me. You don't have to shut me out, you're my best friend. Even if what's going on in your life isn't what makes me happy I want to know what you're up too. I just want you to be happy." I softly rub her back while I say this to comfort her.

"Thanks Lin. I still want us to be close."

She reaches over me to grab her phone off the coffee table and checks the time.

"Shoot! Daveed is going to be here in twenty minutes to pick me up."

I watch as Pippa runs around the apartment trying to get ready quickly. While she is doing that I pick up our clothes off the ground and make sure there is no evidence of what happened not too long ago.

I hear a knock on the door, I open it to see my competition. He smiles at me and asks to come in. He has red roses with him, what a cliché.

"Pippa is almost ready she got carried away with Sebastian at the park and came back late." I cover for her, why? For me, Daveed or Pippa?

"Oh no problem man. How is Sebastian by the way? Is Pippa like his new mom?" He sounds threatened by the fact Pippa helps me with Sebby.

"He is doing good! He just turned three so he's getting bigger and wants to do things by himself. Pippa has just been helping me with him. To ease me into being a single parent with my busy schedule." I try my best to sound casual, Pippa is the only one who knows how I feel about her.

"I thought I heard Sebastian call her mommy. What's that about?"

"Its just so-" I am cut off by Pippa.

"Hey sorry I wasn't ready I was ju-"

"Just late getting home from the park with Sebby. I already told Daveed that you guys were having so much fun you lost track of time." Daveed looks at me suspiciously, I have no idea if he bought it.

"Yeah sorry." There is awkward silence for a while. "Well bye Lin I'll see you later tonight. Don't forget to pick up Sebby after your meeting."

I just sit on the couch as the woman I love leaves for a date with another man.

A/N
I know this chapter is kinda sloppy. I've been really busy the past few days, that's also why it took so long to write. I'll probably go back and edit eventually, or not.

I also wanted to give a shoutout to Hamliza2016 for always voting for my chapters and leaving comments.

See you in the next chapter!
~K