Heartthrobs and Secret Admirers (A Lippa FanFiction)

Chapter Thirty-Four: London?

I've been waiting all day for anything from Pippa, a call, text, tweet or instagram post. Nothing. I know she probably won't call but I keep my phone close by just in case. This morning I had to tell Sebastian what is going on.

When he woke up he went looking for Pip and Netty. When I told him why they were missing his little heart broke. I don't think he fully understands what is going on, but he understood that he wont see his little sister all the time. That's what made him upset.

Today we have been doing everything that Sebastian loves. I made him pancakes, we went to the park, said hi to everyone at the theater and now we are sitting on the couch watching paw patrol.

I keep checking my phone to see of there is any news from Pippa. Nothing. Just when I'm about to turn off my phone I get a call. Pippa.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lin, I.... I shouldn't have called I'm sorry. I'll let you go."

"No, it's fine Pip. How are things in Chicago?"

"They are okay. My parents are bonding with Netty which is nice. It's weird not being with you."

"I miss you."

"Me too. It's going to take some getting use to being away from you. How is Sebastian?"

"He misses you and Lynnette. He is sad that he won't see her everyday."

"Maybe I can come up in a few weeks and Lynnette can stay the night with you."

"What about you?"

"Lin. I really don't want to get into this right now. I love you, but I still need time. I just called because I heard what people are saying about us."

"What who are saying about us? Our friends?"

"No our fans. They know we had some sort of thing going on because of the pictures from Jasmine's wedding. They don't why I left Amelie but they know we had some sort of falling out. Thanks to your tweets."

"What do you mean 'thanks to my tweets'?"

"Lin. You tweeted a a new mix tape called 'Jamie is over and Jamie is gone'. Like what the hell is that? Everyone knows that the fourth song in your mixtapes is the most important and your fourth song is literally still hurting."

"What? I'm doing what I can to help with the pain. I love you Philippa! Nothing is going to change that. It's taking everything in me to stay put together for Sebastian. That mix tape hold everything I'm feeling right now."

"Really, I don't understand why champagne and satisfied are in your mix."

"Well, I will never be enough for you so that explains satisfied. And I was always too late, which is kinda how Vanessa felt when sharing her feelings about Usnavi so there is Champagne."

"You think you're so funny. Fuck you I was calling because I actually missed you. This is hard for me too."

"Pip wait, I'm sorry. I just don't know how to handle this. I mean we finally got together, then this. We were about to be a family."

"I should go. Bye Lin. I love you."

"Pip wai-" she hung up before I could say anything else that would make her want to go back to New York.

As I put down my phone Sebastian looks at me concerned. "Was that mommy Pippa? Its she coining home?"

"No buddy she isn't coming back. I'm sorry."

"Can I talk to her?" I want to let Sebastian talk to her but I don't want her to think it was part of a plan to get her back. He truly misses her and the baby.

"I'll see if she is free buddy."

I walk off to another room out of hearing range from the living room. I give Pippa a call back bracing myself for a harsh hello.

"What do you want Lin?"

"Sebastian heard me talking to you and wanted to say hi. Is that alright?" She doesn't respond but I can her sniffles like she is trying not to cry.

"Pip, everything is going to be okay. We are going to be okay. The kids are going to be okay. Everything is going to work out."

"I'm coming back to New York."

"Pip no. It's not fair for me to make you come back."

"I'm not staying."

"Wh- what do you mean?"

"I'd just be dropping off Lynnette. Then I'm going to leave again. I still need time to figure things out and it's not fair of me to keep Netty away from you while doing so."

"Where are you going?"

"We probably should talk about it in person. You wanted me to talk to Sebastian?"

I hand my phone to Sebastian and listen as he excitedly asks Pippa questions. His little heart is going to break when she leaves again.

After the call raps up Sebastian and I go back to watching tv. I make dinner, grilled cheese sandwichs, and eventually get Sebastian to bed. When I finally do so Pippa walks in the door.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" I run to Pippa, bringing her into a tight embrace before can even answer. I bury my face in her hair and allow my tears to fall.We stand holding eachother for what feels like forever. Which I would be completely fine with.

When we finally do break apart Pippa hands me Lynnette and stars towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I was just coming back to drop of Lynnette." She doesn't turn around to talk to me.

"Pip. Don't leave like this please. We can have a good night before you go. A night to remember eachother by."

"Lin it's already hard enough coming back here." She turned around with tears streaming down her face.

We both stare at eachother from opposite sides of the room. I want to stop her from leaving, I want to tell her all the reasons why she should stay. I want to her to stay and build a family with me. I want her to be mine forever. But it's not fair.

"Can you make me a deal? About us?" Pippa just shrugs. "The second you discover yourself and if you still want a future with us you come back home. To me, to our family."

"I promise after I work everything out this is the first place I'll come back to." Pippa closes the door and walk towards me. "I guess we both deserve a goodbye kiss."

I hold Pippa's face in my hands and pull her into a delicate yet passionate kiss. It grew more and more intense as we found ourselves in our bed.

~~~

The morning sun from the window hits my face causing me to wake up. I reach out to pull Pippa closer to me, it is our last morning together. When I reach out no one is there. I look at the clock on the night stand 6:57.

Am I having déjà vu? I call Pippa but it goes straight to voicemail. I get a text from her saying it would be to hard to talk over the phone and that she is about to get on a plane to London. She is starting over in London.