Adopted by Zalfie Sequel

5

A/N This chapter has mention of self harm, please don't read if you get triggered by that. Xoxoxo

"Lo, I've thought about it, but I have so much coming up for me." I sighed and plonked myself down on the hotel bed.

Logan gave me a skeptiful look, along with the corners of his mouth curling up.

"When I turn eighteen, I'll think about it." I carried on even though Logan hadn't a clue about what I was talking about.

A look of realisation came onto his face, "Ohhh, you're talking about modelling."

"Yeah, I'll reply to them after my birthday and shit is out of the way." I sighed.

"Good, because I've always wanted a model girlfriend." He winked.

I shoved more fruit into my mouth with a chuckle. Although, one thought ran through my mind.

Does he not want an author girlfriend?

Obviously I really want the modelling career, but there are many more things I want to do with my life. I want to be an author. I want to be a youtuber. I want to give advice. I want to help people the way Zoe and Alfie have helped me through the years.

Speaking of my book, the party is a month after we get back from this holiday, meaning the waiting game is going to kill me. It's been nearly a year since I first got the deal and now, all I want to do is share it with the people I love most. It's been so hard keeping the secret but I'm a pro so I didn't sweat much about it.

"I know you want to do everything in the world T, but this is your first opportunity and you have to go for it when you're ready."

"Don't worry, I'm going to. It's just that there's other things I need to get sorted before I can set any other projects on."

Logan eyed me with suspicion.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Choosing to ignore Logan's expression, I went and opened the door.

"Hi, Marcus, you okay?"

"Just fine Tia, I was actually looking for Logan." He smiled.

"Ayup Marcus mate." Logan stood to his feet.

"Us lads are all going out tonight, starting with skate boarding down in the car park. The girls are doing their girly thing next door."

"Yeah, I'll come." Logan nodded.

"Tia all the girls are next door." Marcus informed me.

"Okay, bye Lo."

"Bye princess." He gave me a quick peck on the lips and walked out of the room with Marcus.

The door closed behind them and I flipped down on the bed. I cannot, and I mean cannot be arsed with anything. Anything. I just feel like going to sleep or vlogging to get all my feelings out.

It's exactly seven pm so I decided to take off my makeup and slide into my pyjamas. I slipped into bed with my vlogging camera in my hand. Before, I closed the curtains.

"Hey guys," I started weakly, "It's currently seven pm. The boys have gone out and I think the girls are next door. I've decided to stay here in mine and Logan's room because- I'm not going to lie- I feel like pure and utter shit. I don't mean for the language so I'm sorry but that's just the mood I'm in." I sighed.

"There's nothing happened that's made me feel like this. It's just me. I feel really anxious about absolutely nothing. But that's just the way life is, we have get on with life and try to defeat the feelings inside us. I'm talking about the bad ones like anxiety and depression by the way."

I took a deep breath and let the tears fall.

"I don't even know why I'm filming this. I think it's because I want you to know that this is my life. It isn't perfect and I need you all to know that before I met mum and dad, I was broken. Very broken and sometimes it all just flows back to me. So I've decided to let the tears fall."

I look down at my wrist.

"It's just so hard sometimes. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to have the most amazing parents and amazing boyfriend that I love to pieces."

"Sometimes, deep down, I hate myself for what I do but it's the way to heal pain for me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack's p.o.v

I'm the chosen one.

The one that's been chosen to check up on Tia seen as she hasn't shown up to the girls. You'd think they'd check at least half an hour after us boys left but nope, they wait until we get back.

I knock on the door, expecting an answer. When there isn't one, I open the door slowly, "Tia?"

Tia lay in bed, fast asleep with her phone and camera at the side of her. Bless her. That's why she didn't show up, she was too busy being a lazy bitch.

I walked out of the room and closed the door once again. I joined he others again and told them she was sleeping. They all said that sounds about right for Tia Deyes.

Logan's p.o.v

"Babygirl?"

She's been asleep for a long time now. For like four hours. I moved closer to look at her face. Around her whole face was blotchy red and her hair was messy.

"I know there's something wrong. I can see you've been crying. I really don't know what you're thinking, but I want to know. I love you." I slipped into bed next to her.

It breaks my heart to see her like this.