Adopted by Zalfie Sequel

57

After that, my phone would not stop blowing up. It hasn't all week.

It's the second song Logan has made about me, and we haven't even spoken in months. We didn't even leave things on good terms.

He must be loving it, seeing all of the press about us two when I'm dating Ian. I'd just love to get inside his mind and see what he's thinking about it all.

"Should we head down to the beach, take some photos?" Ian suggested, taking my hand.

The weather here in LA is pretty hot, and I'm living for it. As much as I love the winter, I'm loving the feeling of the sun and everyone being happy.

That is apart from me, of course. When do I ever get to be happy?

I'm happy about the weather, but unfortunately not my relationship. Big shocker, I know.

Ian and I have been seeing each other for a few months now, but all along I've been thinking about is how it's not enough. I love him, of course, but I've never told him that because I knew it wouldn't last. Ive thought back to the day we met a thousand times, trying to figure out why I didn't get butterflies for this amazing man.

He's literally everything a girl could want in a guy. He's kind, caring, gorgeous and has a good sense of humour. So why don't I feel as though it's enough?

Because he's not fucking Logan, that's why.

How could I be as stupid as to jump into a relationship with somebody else when I'm not even over my last?

"Yeah, sounds great." I smiled.

The whole walk to the beach was silent, while I thought about my feelings. They are definitely there for him, one hundred percent. Because of how high Logan set the bar for what I need to love someone so much, I just feel like Ian isn't enough.

With Logan I was always moaning about the things that I'd love for him to improve, and how I thought he'd changed over the years, but breaking up and being with someone else has made me realise that I shouldn't have been so harsh on him.

And just like that, I'd missed his birthday too. It was awful seeing everyone else wish him a happy birthday knowing that deep down all I wanted was to wrap my arms around his neck, tell him I love him and spoil him with presents on his special day.

But I couldn't do that, because he's not mine anymore.

"What's the matter?" Ian questioned, giving me a concerned look as we entered the beach.

"Nothing." I'm just thinking about kissing my ex.

"Are you sure? You've seemed a little bit off for the past few days."

I smiled up to reassure him, "I think the suns just gotten to me a little bit."

What a shit lie.

"Okay." Ian said hestitantly, letting go of my hand for me to stand underneath a tree to take my photo. "Stand in a couple of different positions."

I struck a couple of different poses, every time plastering on another fake smile for the world to eventually see.

———

Tia_Deyes