He was right

Chocolate flavored kiss

It was Friday and time was running out fast. I was tired and confused as hell.

Damn it! What do I watch on TV??

I was surfing through the channels and looking for something interesting. Just then Keeping up with the Kardashians flashed on the screen.

“What do you think she’d like to have?” Tyler asked me as he took the seat next to me on my couch. We had come straight to my place after school and were taking some time off to relax. “I mean you must know if she wants something,” he said and looked up at me expectedly.

Okay so let’s play ‘What did I do next?’ Your options are:

a) Launched myself at Tyler and started cuddling him to death!

b) Looked at him with wild eyes and smacked him right on his left eye.

c) I stood up and left.

Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!

You’re absolutely……WRONG!

Booooooo!!

I changed the channel!

I said I was looking for something interesting and not something unrealistic and absurd!

“Uhhh…” I thought about it for a good minute. What could she possibly want? Even I needed to get her something! “I don’t know!” I shrugged. “Maybe we should ask her?”

“Yeah, that’s right! We’ll walk up to her and ask ‘Ash what do you want for your birthday? You see, we’re planning to throw you a surprise birthday bash!......Oops! SURPRISE!!’” I looked at me with a straight face after he tried, and might I add, terribly failed at doing an impression of me.

To be me, you gotta have sarcasm dissolved in the blood running through your veins and the fine quality voice box. And I DON’T HAVE A GLASS-CRACKING SHRILL VOICE!! Don’t listen to Derek! He’s just jealous!

I rolled my eyes and asked, “Do you have any ideas?”

“How ‘bout we send her for a trip to Paris?” he asked and looked at me as if he was expecting me to pat his back and reward him with a cookie!!

Dude, you’re funny!

I snorted and said, “As far as I know, your father’s name is Adam Knight. I’m sorry if I’m wrong but you sound like it’s BILL GATES!!” See? The sarcasm? It’s present in every atom of my body….along with pink glitter!!

His broad smile wavered. “Don’t let your mouth write checks that your ass can’t cash!!” With that I finished my master piece!! BANG! What a dialogue!!

This time it was his turn to roll his eyes. He shrugged and said, “I don’t know. What do you think? Shampoos? Conditioner? Some scented soaps? A perfume? Oh wait….how about a foot scrub?”

“Really, Tyler? That’s all you could think of? You’re gonna gift her toiletries??” He was impossible!! I had not come up with anything from myself and here I had to think of something from him too.

There was so much burden on this innocent soul! Poor me!

“I know I suck at all this! I know I can’t just gift her chocolates. I mean, come on! It should be something nic- HEY how ‘bout a pet? A cat? A dog? A mouse?.....An alligator?” he asked with the same enthusiastic expression as before.

“Alligator- NO! But a cat or a dog, YEA…” Hmm….a pet? “……NOOOOOOOO! “ I shook my head. “I don’t think she’d like that! Pft!”