✔ ALUEDAA

¢нαρтєя тωєηту ѕєνєη - ¢σωєяιηg αωαу

Just go and talk to him!

But I can't... Look, he's talking to his friends! I'll do it later, at home. Maybe.

You're such a coward.

I am not! I just don't want to interrupt their conversation. Look how into it they are!

He's asking about homework. The same homework you never put any time to do.

Exactly, so I should let him talk about it since I'm not going to do it.

Coward!

I am not!

Yes you are! You are the biggest coward I know. I thought you said you'd go and talk to him?

Later.

I was currently having an internal fight, the fear of how he would to react to my approach eating me up from the inside.

I wasn't used to feeling nervous, to having butterflies in my stomach, knots that would only come undone if I got over my fear. But I was a coward, and for the time being, and as for however long it could stay like that, I wouldn't go up to him. I didn't have the guts.

"Coming?" Elsu asked softly, tugging my arm.

Averting my eyes, I looked away from Cameron, fixating my deep blue eyes with the sad dark brown ones.

They remind me of the night, I thought, the light filtering through the clouds sparkling off his eyes, making them look like bright stars.

Looking back for one last glance, I saw Cam was still talking, so turning my back on him, I said, adding as much joy as I could muster, "Yep! I'm coming over to yours, by the way. It's nearer," I winked.

"Sure," He answered, smiling.

"Hey, wait for me!" Ungeld shouted, running up behind us still wearing his football gear, "Why the hell didn't you wait for me?"

"Because, dear idiot, we didn't intend on waiting for a guy that literally takes an hour in the shower, and two more to get dressed," Elsu answered with sass, sticking his tongue out.

"I do not take that long!" Geld exclaimed in annoyance, glaring at the both of us.

"How old are you again?" I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes at their childishness while trying to hide the small smile appearing on my face.

"Older than you," They both said simultaneously, sticking their tongue out at me.

"Only for a few months!" I exclaimed, sticking my own out at them, making us all laugh.

As we walked in silence, I let my mind wander, something I seemed to be doing very often nowadays.

"Hey, Alu?" Ivy asked, walking down the stairs, "Cameron was asking if you needed anything from the shops,"

I shrugged, "Not that I know of... But didn't he just go out, like two minutes ago? It's a bit pointless asking me now," I concluded, not knowing why the young brown haired girl was asking.

"Oh... Um, well, he's waiting for me to go outside and tell him right now. I think he's avoiding you,"

That hurt.

It felt like something inside me was suddenly being torn, grabbed and squeezed until it was nothing but a scrunched up piece of nothing, the feeling of pain seeping through my chest.

"Oh, okay,"

Bringing my mind out of memory lane before things got worse, I concentrated on the path we were walking on, the broken rocks from all the trespassers forming a sandy floor, just stony enough for it not to get stuck in your shoes everytime you set foot on the ground.

"Hey, Alueda... Are you still thinking of taking a holiday?" Elsu asked out of the blue, looking at me intently.

"I'm not sure. I mean, I love it here and everything, but I just can't help but feel awkward," Looking up, I noticed the pain in his face, so deciding to try and distract him from the painful truth, I added in a joking tone, "Anyway, you know how much I crave holidays. It's literally my life!"

Okay, not the best joke, a part of me thought, but it will do.

"Har har har," Ungeld said, breaking the silence using his fake laugh, "that was so funny,"

"Shut up. Atleast I don't take an hour in the shower," I defended myself, bringing up the conversation from earlier.

"Are you serious? I don't take an hour! I mean, sure, it takes a while too look this good-" I snorted, "-but I don't take an hour..."

"You whine like a baby," a feminine voice said from our left, the small body of Ivy appearing a couple of seconds later, her thin arms crossed over her chest.

"Ivy! You wound me," Ungeld exclaimed, pulling a hurt face, his expression making all of us laugh.

"Yeah, well you ill me,"

Is she really a seven year old? My subconscious asked, putting her age to doubt.

"Yeah, well-"

"Shut the hen up," before he could replicate, I murmured lowly, "we both know you didn't have a comeback."

He looked taken aback, before sending a glare my way, "Yeah, yeah, whatever,".

"Okay, Ivy! I'm going to come home at around twelve-ish, so tell your mom not to wait up or worry for me!"

I didn't like spending time in a house full of awkwardness, especially when it was due to the fact that one of the habitants had kissed me, and now we were both avoiding each other.

You just admitted you are avoiding him.

Fuck.

I was just giving him space before I bombarded him with questions I didn't want to know the answers, right? I wasn't really avoiding him... Just letting us both carry on with our life.

That's the equivalent of avoiding him.

It was true.

I'd known for a while now, but I hadn't wanted to admit it, because if I avoided, I cared. And if I cared, it meant I had feelings. If I had feeling, that meant I had a soft spot for him.

And I couldn't do that, for both our sakes.

"Hey... Um... I think I should take the two years leave and go back to CARESS..." I whispered, a silent tear rushing down my cheek as both boys looked at me with horror.