random short story

14 - My First Love

(A/N: This is the first one shot that I typed in English for this book)

In everyone's life, there are different experiences, one of them is the first love. My love was dazzling yet aching. Every time I go back to those memories, my eyes water and I feel like I could have done so much better. My story began ten years ago, when I was only in first year of secondary school. I was inexperienced and naïve, I thought that there was no heart break in this world.

Sejeong was my classmate that I had known since March 2008. At first, I did not really know her until one day I got her phone number and texted her. I realize we had 'chemistry' because whenever we discussed some topics, we always agreed with each other's ideas. We found a great combination between us. Day by day we became closer like twins, we became best friends but nothing more, nothing that I wanted. Her life was mine, her thoughts were mine, she was my world and she did not even know.

She was the prettiest and the quietest girl in class. A special thing about her was she had such perfect smile. When she smiled, her beautiful two-round eyes also smiled and were able to make other people as happy as larks with her adorable smile. Whenever she stared at me, it made my heart skip a beat for I had never seen anything so breathtaking. She was also kind and always made me feel glad every time she was with me.

Life was not a bed of roses. A month later, before we could enjoy this friendship, our classmates started to suspect that we were too close. Very, very close. They started to misunderstand and talk about us. She received the worst effect. She was so sad and up a gum tree with this inconvenient situation. This misunderstanding became critically serious.

She made up her decision. Our relationship had to end especially when we were in school. She did not want people to gossip further about us. I knew it was hard for her to do that, but all I could do was to accept her decision. I accepted it because I wanted to save her from this encumbering problem.

Day by day, Sejeong started to change. She did not smile like before. She turned sad and went to pieces. Then I knew, I really had lost my old Sejeong who always made me smile and laugh. I changed when her attitude changed. I became the quietest boy in class and always showed a fake smile to others. I pretended I was happy but the fact, I was not. Everyday I underwent this life without her smile. Before this, we always texted and called each other to talk about some random things. We shared everything and laughed like we did not have any problem. But now, everything had gone.

Even though we still contacted one another, I did not feel her existence. Sometimes, I wanted to blame those who made this situation difficult and those who were unpleasant with my friendship. But, I could not do that. My body fell, I was on knees. Praying.

Since then, we barely talked to each other even when we were classmates since the first year until we were in final year. From childish thirteens until we were 'matured' seventeens. We only talked on our birthdays or when we really needed to and it was basically about school matters. There were no more random funny conversations that made us laugh out loud. No more. However, whenever I caught her staring at me in class, it still gave me the goosebumps.

I tried to forget everything about her, but I just could not. As much as I wanted her to vanish from my life, she would not go, and every time I saw her, I fell for her even more. Once again becoming the boy that I once was.

My love for her is like the waves in the sea, it comes and it goes. Her name is carved in my soul for she is part of who I am now. She makes me upset but she also makes me laugh. She was my first love and as much as I want that part of my story to end, deep inside I know that it isn't over.

However, I know that I have to accept everything that had happened. I'm blessed because my Lord put her in my life, ergo I would know how does heart break feels like. This also made me realized that I have to forget everything about love for a while, focused on my studies and try to make some new friends without falling for them.

I had accepted the situation and have done all of it. Let bygones be bygones, my effort pays off now. I was no longer in the sad mood all the time. I got a lot of friends and so I became a better person.

-THE END-

(A/N: I thought of someone while typing this. Guess who?)

source: school magazine.