The Fame

Chapter-31

I moan in sweat and heat, and I open my eyes. I wonder how long I've been sleeping. I quickly wipe off the sweat from my forehead, and sit up on the bed. I slowly attain my consciousness back, and I am reminded how I fell asleep earlier today. I remember how I came crying to the room, and slept myself off to sleep. My mind flashes back bitter memories of my encounter, with both, Ashton, and Niall. My heart aches as the memories sit clear in my head. 

I slip my phone out of my pocket, and check messages from Niall.

*My place, at 7* 

My heart aches as the memories baffle my thoughts. Is he calling me up so that he can insult me and hurt me again? So that he can shout at me, and physically hurt me? "Shit", I think, "He harmed me physically."  The thought make me crazy, and I'm instantly close to my breakdown. 

Should I go?

Is he planning to hurt me again?

Is he planning to break up with me, if we already didn't?

Is he planning to apologize?

Again, should I go?

So many questions fill my head, but I decide to think about it while I take a cold shower. Just as I step into the shower and the cold water trickles down my skin, my breathing accelerates. The text didn't ask me to be there, but instead, it ordered me. 

I step out, and slip into my navy blue jeans, with a white crop-top. I feel like dressing up a bit to cheer myself up. I'm depressed, and I am broken inside, but everything is not over yet. I can work out things with him, and I can still plan a way to throw Ashton out of my way. I need to. I blow dry my hair, and leave them open, as their are winds blowing this evening. Looks like it has rained too, of course, I wasn't up to see it. 

I open the windows and the curtains move with the cold winds. I'm an emotional wreck, at the moment, and seeing Niall might encourage the pain inside me. But I want to work things out with him. I love him. I love him to death and beyond. There is so much I want to do, with him. Only, with him. There are so many little dreams I have for us. I can't live any of that alone, or with someone else. Its him. He makes me happy, he makes me cry, he makes me fall, he makes me stand, he makes me alive.

He keeps me going. 

I decide to see Niall. I rush downstairs, and then to the kitchen. I make coffee, and sip water, thoughts wandering inside my head. I sip the coffee, and rethink all of our time together. How can I still let him go? 

I walk out the door, and the winds blow stronger against my hair. It is about a five minute walk to Niall's place from mine. I rethink our whole time once again, and decide to try my best to work out things and stay with him. 

Just as I step in front of his house, my heart starts beating faster. I take a deep breath, and knock the door with my knuckles, expecting to see him first. The door stays shut, and I start to feel nervous. Is that door still shut on a purpose? I knock for the last time, and turn my way round, and start walking back, when I suddenly hear the door click open.

"Hey." Niall has the expression on his face, that he had this morning. I do not seem to be relieved by it, at all. 

"Hi," I say leaving out a breath, "So?" I sound nervous, certainly, against my will. 

"Come inside." His stern voice says, and I pull my lips in a straight line, shaking my head. Its really good here, outside. Plus, I don't want to sit in an enclosed place with him, at the moment. 

"No," I refuse, "It's really nice outside." I feel like I'm retorting, but he nods, and steps out of the door, shutting it behind him. He leads me to the bench outside, on the pathway of the street.