The Fame

Chapter-37

Mom reaches soon to find the wound on my forehead terrible. She looks more than concerned and I'm slightly embarrassed by it. Ashton keeps smirking at us while mom tries to examine my wound. I love her but if she cound treat me like a 16 year old, I wouldn't mind a bit. Though, its surprising to see her act this way, as it never had occured to me ever before.

"Mom, I think we should head home, yeah?" I say through my shaky voice. I haven't heard my proper voice in what feels like ages now. The lump in my throat from last night is still there, and its eating me up inside.

"Yes, the wound might need some treating." She slutters in worry, and I sigh as we head to the door. Ashton follows behind us.

"Oh and Ash, thank you so much." She pats his back and I roll my eyes. I can't decide why i called him, out of all the people. I should've called Stace, maybe.

"That's the least i could do." He assures her, and I rush to the door so that she follows behind and we leave the uncomfortable space. I glace at mom with the corner of my eye who stands behind with Ashton sharing a grateful conversation which is totally unnecessary. My gaze shifts to the photographs hanging on the wall, displaying periods of the family's life. Infancy, childhood and then the terrible teenage. I click open the door and step out, as I do not want to be a part of their conversation. I'm not grateful at all. I know Ashton Irwin. He is of a little help, but of bigger danger. I shake any thoughts off my mind before they drift to Niall James Horan. I take in the cold monsoon breeze, and wait for mom to come outside. I touch the wound, and it instantly reminds me of how I fell to the ground on the very first day of the school session, when an Irish hand offered to help, when the Irish eyes looked into mine. I close my eyes, and a single tear rolls down my cheek which burns from the previous breakdowns.

"Diana." Her stern voice gets louder as she steps out. I quickly wipe off the tears, and compose myself.

"Hmm?" I am unable to form words. I want to speak to her but words are the hardest thing to find right now. She looks at me, but walks past me, surprising me to the highest of levels. Ignorance is the last thing i want to deal with, right now.

We hop in the car I recognize I took to the airport. I wonder how mom got the same car and drove it here, but its none of my concern right now. Should i speak to her about 'it'? Or should I keep her in the dark? Or should I, out of all things, text Niall? Should i even give him a chance? Does that matter to him? Is it bothering him? Has it ever bothered him? Did i ever matter to him? Did he talk to Stace? I bite my lips, and decide to stay shut and out of any thoughts for the short drive.

She climbs out of the car without a word, once we're home. I decide to keep the thinking for later. I walk inside to feel warmer. My mom turns to me and hands over a bandage. I nod, but she doesn't respond. I wait there for about minute to get any response in hand, but there's nothing. I drag myself upstairs, and kick open the door to my room. I quickly pull out my shoes, and walk up to the mirror, carefully doing the bandage. Once i'm finished, I climb in bed and lay on my back. Thoughts are wildly rushing in and out of my mind, thoughts of Niall, thoughts of Niall and Stace, thoughts of Niall and me. I can't think of anything else. I pick up my phone, and decide to text Niall that he is forgiven. But i can't think of words to use when I hear a knock on the door. Mom walks in, her appearance all the same as witnessed twenty minutes ago. She glares over at me sternly making me more nervous about everything, literally everything.

"In case you're thinking that i am here to console you, just know that I'm here to tell you that you've been careless and, oh it goes without saying that you've been more than foolish." She surprises me, and the air between us is not familiar anymore. I am left confused, I can't figured out a word from it all.

"What, I-?" I fail to speak again.

"You dated some guy at random, and look what he left you with." Her eyes well up, and I crane my neck up to look at the ceiling as I push my hair up on my head.

"Mom...", I sigh, and she laughs out sternly.

"You're dumber than we thought." She punches in the air, and my sight turns fade as tears begin to form, and roll down burning my cheeks again. I lose my cool, at last.

"Look, he was no guy at random! Alright? We had a thing, and i knew he had to leave for the auditions, bu-but, I-i, we had an argument last night, it took us here, and I just couldn't say goodbye, it-it-its just not his fault, alright?" I break down, but recieve no sympathy from her part.

"And what was the argument about?" She rolls her eyes, and I feel my breath caught up in my chest.

"Its, its, uhm, just a little misunderstanding." I hold my head in my hands, and exhale deeply. I'm so not having this conversation with her.

"Ashton told me everything. I hope there's nothing else that you're keeping from me. As in, nothing about this." She gives me a warning look and I clench my jaw.

"Of course, he did." Oh well Ashton Irwin had a mouth. But it wasn't exactly called for. Not from him, to be exact.

My mind runs wild thinking about the events, what to think, and what not to. Its insane. Its crumbling my world up. I couldn't handle separation, and now I had my mother turning away from me. The rage is me is growing every second for no one else, but for Ashton Irwin. What wrong have i ever done to him for him to ruin everything for me? I pick my phone up to check any texts from Niall, or Stace, or Ashton, or anybody. I sigh as i see absolutely no notifications of any texts or call, and sink in my place. My head hurts, the place where the new wound rests, and beyond to the place where memories of Niall rest. I lay back on the bed, and stare at the ceiling. Tears keep forming and rolling down for what seems like a minute but is an hour. I do not seem to rest my thoughts, or calm my soul. I keep tossing and turning on the bed, soaking the bed sheet in tears. "Niall..." the name leaves my mouth as my phone rings up, and I quickly roll over to the other side of the bed to pick up my phone, but its against any wills right now.

'Ashton' the name displays on the screen, and I bite my lip. I place the phone back on the bed, and climb down. I need to do something, anything at all. I'm not exactly free, I'm just caught up in an awfully eventful day. My phone buzzes for the third or fourth time when I sigh, finally picking up.

"What now?" My voice is weak but plain. 

"Just wanted to check if you were okay." He slurs, and I roll my eyes. My gaze falls on the door of my room, and memories of Niall resting his back on the door-frame rushes back in. 

"I'm..." I start to speak when the lump in my throat rises, "I'm okay." I swallow and close my eyes. 

"Do you want me to come over?" He asks with concern in his voice which i suspect is a big lure. I'm messed up but I could easily say no to him.

"No." I respond rudely, and i hear him sigh on the other end.

"I just want to meet up and tell you things," His voice is softer than ever, "things you need to know." I think for a moment before responding. I knew things this douche-pants could do. 

"What things?" My voice is still plain, its not curious like it always used to be.

"About Niall." My mouth falls open, "You need to know, Dee." I shake my head in annoyance.

"Listen to me you horseshit, you better be telling the truth this time or I'm ripping your face apart!" The rage kicks in, and I'm, in no freaking way, surprised because he deserves nothing else.

"Meet you in 15 minutes, The English Park." I think again, but finally give in.

"Fine." I hang up. 

I don't know if its right, but its about Niall. It doesn't feel right, Ashton trying to make more conversations after Niall has finally left, but its still about the person I'm desperately running for. I don't know where Diana Williams is anymore. I am nothing but a broken, sorry-face girl, trying to find the pieces of my heart anywhere to make it whole again.