The Fame

Chapter-38

I drag myself down the staircase receiving a horribly short glance from my mother who is seated in front of the TV. I decide to ignore it for now, and make my way out the house. I hop in my car, my head hurting terribly because of excessive movements. I start the engine and head towards the park. Its a simple park, much of a garden it can be considered, with a couple of swings for kids and rides that probably kids don't like anymore. Usually at this time, there is no one there. I wonder if that is why Ashton chose this place. Soon i park my car near the entrance so that i don't have to walk too much. 

I step in the entrance to spot Ashton Irwin leaning over a bench with one of his foot on the bench. He looks simpler, dressed in a black t-shirt and skin tights, fiddling with his phone. He spots me and straightens up. I walk over to him and simply glare at his evil lean figure in front of me. 

"Make it quick." I warn him in advance. 

"Let's sit." He offers me and I don't give a glance before i seat myself. He settles at a distance.

"So, how is the...wound...?" He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Can you stop wasting my time please?" I am already pissed beyond limits.

"When, that night, that wasn't intentional. I was drunk and I made wrong moves. Everybody makes wrong moves when they're not --" He starts off with something I'm not here to talk about. 

"You said it is about Niall." I sternly remind.

"I wasn't myself, trust---" 

"Trust you?" I glare at him now.

"I'm not the person you think I am." His eyes are wet. I look away because I'm not here to give him my shoulder to cry on. Though, I feel like he's beginning to tell the truth.

"I don't think about you." I sound even more pissed than i already did.

"And i can't let you think that I'm this harsh inside. I do have a heart, and trust me, it aches." Okay so now Ashton Irwin is here telling me that I should be friends with him. 

"You're nothing but a jerk. If it is not about Niall, then I'm leaving." 

"Before he left, he came up to me," he finally starts, "to sort of beat the shit out of me." He coughs. "You know, because of how Stace revealed it." My heart aches. "I repeatedly apologized to him, but I'm a jerk to all of you." I nod, yeah he's a jerk.

"He told me that I ruined the bond you two had. And he told me he loves you," He clears his throat, "but you will never love him again." 

"You wanted to tell me that he loves me?" I speak under my breath.

He continues, "He was drunk as fuck, he was crying and screaming. He broke a few things back at my place." I'm more than surprised. Drunk, really?

"I think you need to call him as soon as he reaches." I nod.

"I will."

"He is messed up. He needs you." A single tear rolls down my face.

 "Don't i know that?" I speak without thinking about it.

"And if anything at all, i will be here to help you with it. Trust me, I'm really very sorry." He speaks softly, and i shake my head.

"We don't need your sympathy." I utter harshly.

"Diana, let me remind you that what the both of us are going through is no different. If your boyfriend kissed some other girl, then know that the other girl was the one i love." His voice grows loud and harsh, and though I don't like to admit it, he's got a point. 

"I'm...sorry." I realize I've been too centered around myself. "I didn't realize." I admit. 

"If you just give me a chance to be there for you, maybe we both can get through our ways. Diana, just give it a thought please. We're even." He explains, but I quickly get up from my place. This isn't right.

"What, really? Maybe we're both left behind the same way, but she's still here, she's in the same town as you and you can have her whenever you want while Niall's gone. He's gone. And he might not return to me!" I spat. I can't figure out what am i to do next from here. Ashton just stares at me, his mouth open and eyes wet while I stare right back at him. I crane my neck up to look up at the dark sky, and decide to just stay out of any thoughts or plans right now. I walk right past him while he just stand there staring at the spot I've been on a few seconds ago.

"Call me when you need me." He speaks behind me, and i choose to ignore. 

Once I'm home, I skip dinner and instead send long messages to Nialler explaining him 'stuff'. Stuff, yeah.

 "Niall James Horan, hope you're having a good time. Also, i hope you do well in the auditions and hopefully make it through. I just wanted to let you know that you're forgiven. I don't think my words invite any feelings of surprise. Isn't it fair enough? You gave me a reason to feel disgusted, and i gave you a reason to regret it. We're even, Nialler, so now you should just call me when you finish reading this or you're dead. I accept i should've given you 'the last chance' but my timing sucks more than jetlags. I hope the big mouth dude told you already. I love you. xoxo."

I sigh as i finish sending it, and regret it the next moment. I don't think it helps, i don't think anything helps. I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated way beyond limits. I don't understand any of this so I decide to let it go to a smash, at least, for now. 

I decide to watch a movie, or read a novel, just to kill time, or to kill the pain. I scan through a few couples of movies, not really able to choose any of them. After a long minute, I pick out 'Titanic'. I have seen this movie for about 10980898989 times or probably more. Surprisingly, its still my favorite movie. I play the movie, switch off the lights, and sit back on the bed. I quietly watch, not really able to enjoy. I keep thinking about Niall, in about every 10 seconds. I feel disgusted at myself. I feel disgusted at him. I feel disgusted about all of this. I decide to text him again,

*I'm so sorry Nialler, call me asap. Iloveyou xx. :)*

I keep fiddling with my phone for the rest of the movie and fall asleep way before the sad ending (I'm secretly glad about that).

I wake up to the loud noise my phone makes, and groan at the disturbance. I roll over to the other side of the bed, and choke on my breath as my screen displays the name, "Nialler". I pick up in no time. Dead silence on both sides.

"I'm so sorry..." I finally decide to speak first. 

"I'm sorry too Diana." He admits sheepishly.

"I over-react, i know its my fault." I try to form a thousand explanations, though if he apologized first i wouldn't even accept my fault.

"Get over it." He laughs lightly and i smile.

"I'm so glad you called." I sigh.

"I heard you fell to your face, is it true?" He laughs on the other end.

"Ashton Irwin has a big mouth, doesn't he?" I roll my eyes, and sigh again.

"Dee, if this interests you, It wasn't me, it was Stace. She was dead drunk." He explains, and i quickly straighten up. He doesn't have to do this. I don't need to know whose fault it is, it doesn't matter.

"Okay..." I accept without any argument. 

"I think i have to go. Wish me luck." He tries to change the conversation's course.

"All the best, make us proud!" I giggle and he soon hangs up.