Detachable

~ Chapter 8 ~

Craig is assigned to go to the beach and he is driving to it right now, all of the memories from that summer came back and he wanted his good friend right beside him again. He felt something weird after watching all of those videos, he felt like something is wrong, something was off. He saw different things in the eyes of his friend that never surfaced before. The way he spoke in each and one of them, is really dramatic and painful for him, but he still felt happy seeing him after all of this time. For Craig, Luise/John is his brother, since his older brother died a long time ago. He never felt loved in a brotherly way in such a long way, so when Luise /John came, the feelings just came rushing back. Even so, he didn't know him that much, Luise/John has that warm and comfortable vibes and as for Craig, he loved to sit next to the shore and talk with Luise until the sun comes back up. He felt like he could share everything with him and never feel regret after. Luise watched him cry, he was the first person that wasn't part of his family that he let see him cry. It is certainly a big step that Craig let Luise make. He finally arrived near the beach and parked at his usual spot, looking into the distance. A lot of the memories started to come again. He could feel Luise's/John's arm on his shoulder and could hear his hard sigh. Everything about this place screams Luise and it makes Craig's heart harden because he doesn't know where his good old friend is and feels kind of guilty because he came here without him. Truly feels different.

2 years ago...

''What's wrong today?'' Luise was once again being caring. ''You seem kind of said and so pale. When you called me I could hear that something is wrong and when I offered to call the others you immediately said no. That doesn't seem like. Are you okay?'' 
''Craig waved with his hand, trying to move on. Do not try to convince me that you are okay when I can obviously see that something is off, now spill. What is troubling you?''
He leaned closer, looking deeply into Craig's eyes.

''I just wanted to get out of the house, because it is such a mess there, since this morning.''

''Why?''

''Today is a tragic day for my family and every year it just gets worse and worse. Every year I have to wake up to a total disaster.''

''How so?''

''Today is the date my brother has passed away. I don't want to think or talk about it, but every time I close my eyes I see him and it breaks my heart, so I needed someone to be here for me before, I don't, jump over a bridge or something. Cause the memories to haunt me so much and it just is so bad. I am sorry that you have to see me like this, but it is a fact. I feel like breaking something and am breaking myself piece by piece. Luise, I feel insane. Like I don't belong here and I almost didn't make it through this school year. I have procrastinated so much and didn't study at all. At one point I was sure that I was going to repeat the grade. I feel stupid and anxious.''

''But you didn't and you are not insane. It is just you trying to get over the tragic moment that happened. You can't change anything about it and you just have to go further, because that is what your brother would want.''

''Thank you. I am sorry Steven.'' Guess that is his brother. ''I don't know what's wrong with me.''

''Nothing is. You are just a human. If you feel like this ever again, call me right away. I want to know how you feel, why and I want to make you stop feeling like that. I am your friend after all. I will listen and help. There is always a way Craig. Please don't hold back.''

''How can I explain to you that every year I am not myself? I don't want to laugh, be happy or even live. I can't show all of my emotions and thought out in the open, cause I am not even sure what most of them are. I don't know.'' He started to cry. ''I am sorry, I am going to leave, see you later.'' He tried to walk away, but Luise pulled him back and captured him in his embrace.