Detachable

~ Chapter 15 ~

Henry POV

Alice was driving us to the funeral. I was looking through the window trying to tell myself to stay calm and not to start panicking at the funeral, because I just don't want to create a scene. As we got closer my heart beat became faster and faster. My heart is currently beating in my throat. Everything about this just doesn't seem real and it seems like a dream, like a nightmare. I pinched myself to many times, trying to prove myself that this is a dream, but I have been awake for a long time. All of this is really happening. As I see the funeral house and realize that we will soon pass by it, I get a flashback.

2 years ago...

As we were passing by the funeral home, on our way to the black town, Luise grabbed Craig's hand and told him to slow down. It was the second time Craig was driving without a supervisor, so he listened to Luise right away, being scared that something is wrong. We passed by it in silence and inner confusion. Luise was watching the funeral home like a hawk. We passed by it quickly because it was a small ground. Craig started to drive in a normal speed again and asked Luise: ''Why did I have to slow down?''

He was breathing heavily and his hands were shaking on the steering wheel.

''It is a tradition. Whenever you are passing by a graveyard or funeral home, you must slow down and pay your respect to the people who are laying there, no matter if you know them or not''.

We all went silent, being shocked by what he told us, more surprised also. Luise seemed sad as we were passing by; someone must've obviously passed away that mattered to him. I wonder who. When we passed it totally, being far away, he quietly thanked us and kept on looking through the window. That was the first time I saw Luise serious/sad. It is weird and his mood took over all of us in a second. His silence ripped our ears apart and made our heads hurt from an unknown cause of pain.

Presente...

''Please slow down.'' She did.

''Why? Are you having a panic attack? Just breath, I will also open up a window.''

''No, it is a tradition to slow down near a funeral house and also to be silent as you are driving, it's very important...'' She nodded and kept quiet until we parked.

''Who started that tradition?'' Knowing it wasn't our family ''Was it John?'' I nodded.
''It is so sweet that you are keeping and following that tradition.''

She smiles and hugs me. After a few pep talks we walked into the funeral house and met with the others and by others, I mean Dylan, John's mom and what I'm assuming is John's father, but I am not sure. We had to wait first for Craig, because we came all a lot early and when he finally arrived we walked to his grave and there we stood, paying our respect. I let out a few tears, Dylan was crying like a flow of water when you turn on the faucet, Craig plunged his face into his hands so we can't see how much he is crying, the mother was also crying a lot and cursing God under her breath and the men held her in her arms and sniffing tears away. My sister was crying just a little, trying to stay calm and sane since I couldn't.

It still doesn't seem real people. I just don't believe that his body is under this ground, that this is his grave and that he will never return to us. It is just something no one would believe. I wanted to leave right away because I could feel my heart leaving my body and my soul being drained out. I started to talk to John in my head, hoping he can hear me.

I am sorry John. I am sorry I didn't ask you about your feelings and about your life. I am sorry that I hid cutting scars and didn't ask for help, thinking it was better for you. Sorry for never talking about your problems and never thinking of the possibility that you also have it bad. You have left this world so easily and so young. You didn't get a chance to experience first love, college, first job, marriage, kids, grandkids, nothing.