Detachable

~ Chapter 23 ~

Dylan: John do you see what we are holding in our hands? Can you read what it says? Do you know what that means? Do you understand it? You passed John. You passed the test with 100%. You could've gotten into your dream school and with you dream school the possibilities are endless and all sorts of things with it could've been done in life. We could've been sitting at the pool talking about college and the hard work and hardship we are facing. You would've gotten the job you wanted and probably earned enough money to travel the whole word and do it with your best friends. All of this could've happen if it wasn't hidden from you. This exam and it's score.

Henry: We are sorry we didn't get here sooner and helped you find out that you actually did pass. Maybe things would've been different if we were closer and didn't relay on summer to bring us together. If only we talked more on the phone and seen each other more often. Summer sucks, school sucks and just life in general sucks.

Craig: This paper doesn't mean shit. (Dylan and Henry turned in surprise that Craig is using such harsh words) This paper is total bullshit, just like this situation itself. This paper doesn't show how smart you are nor shows your personality. This paper just shows that you listen in class and are a good learner, nothing more nothing less. I want to rip it to pieces, but also do not want to ruin your hard work. I am so sorry that people walked all over you, including us. We did run over you with our toes, but left scratches also. I know that the boys feel the same and that is why I can talk for them too. I don't want to blame myself, but on the other hand I blame myself so hard. I will take part of the blame and carry it with me. The guilt and other negative feelings will be embraced with this wall that people call the past. The inner part of the wall will never be forgotten, but will be avoided and untouchable. Nothing can be changed it stays there, growing taller and thicker as time passes by. Now I know how much trauma is powerful on both sides of the story. Traumatic experience is something different and it toys with us forever. It doesn't matter if it's carved in our memory or flesh. It is a state we get trapped in and never leave it. The experience contains: pain, anxiety, fear and other toxic emotions. The thing that happened or we did, is forever there, unfixable or changeable. People that never experience a trauma are not aware of the feeling and just pity the person. Just like I have been doing until this very moment. You just can't tell them anything because you are not sure will your words hurt him/her or not. It makes you uncomfortable and you become distant with that person, which is even worse to be completely honest. And then, shit like this happens and we can only say sorry and feel guilty until we are lying down right next to them. (Dylan hugged him tight)

Dylan: Guilt eats up the people who don't know how to cope with their mind and they forever are stuck. You Craig will manage to cope with your feelings, because you have us to be right next to you. We will heal each other.

Henry: It's true that we will never be fully healed and that we will come here every year and he will pop into our mind from time to times. It is just what life is and how it works. Don't worry Craig all will be good and everything will be better.

The lights turned on and people started to leave the funeral home. The boys kept on sitting on the bench and talked to John. They were telling them how they got here and all of the things they did. They talked passionately with all of their decisions.

Henry: That Joe guy is really nice and he talked about you a lot. I don't know if you know this, but he really missed you while he was gone and actually regretted leaving you behind.

Dylan: Mrs. Torresi got fired from that awful school, but will surely find another, better job. The principal just came in and fired her, out of the blue and right in front of us. That was really mean and rude of him. But now he will be in jail and maybe learn about manners and hospitality. I am sure that Mrs. Torresi will be happier in another school and that everything will go smoothly with her life. So don't worry about that and we will help her in any way possible. She is a great person and helped us a lot too and you. She told us about the Joseph thing and we were so shocked and also very grateful. She made sure that no one would hurt you as much as they would if she wasn't there. We hope you are aware of how much she loves you and cares about you.