Detachable

~ Chapter 9 ~

Dylan is blankly staring at the letters near the bench, as they all took their envelopes. He is holding something very important in his hands and he doesn't know what to say or do at the moment. He is just staring at John's/Luise's handwriting. The way his name is written is so beautiful and he is sure that this is an envelope from his best friend. But why isn't he moving? He isn't scared to read the letter and knows his location, but something is making him stand in one place, without a thought in his head and is just to look at the envelope. He lifted his head and looked around. Everything is moving too fast for him and he felt like he won't do the things he planned to. He began to walk towards the place that he is assigned to, but with every step he made, he also stuttered. He is heading to the abounded pool. The special place him and Luise shared in the silent nights, but no matter how silent the nights are their thoughts and mind were too loud for the two boys to calm them down. He wants to stay calm, but at the same time, he just wants to smash everything around him, because he just knows that there will be something in the envelope that will make him cry his soul out and the colour of his skin. He knows that John/Luise will not hesitate with words. People that were passing by him, looked him with pity, fear and sadness in their eyes. He knew he looked like he just came from a funeral: eyes baggy, pale skin and a stuttering walk. He arrived at the pool since it is not that far away. He sat down at their spot and stared into the bottom of it.

''So you left, without saying goodbye and just went to an unknown place, are hiding from me from shame? What the hell are you planning? I know that many years have passed by and that you are hurt and all, but we need you here with us. I don't think us three will hang out together much longer. You made us reconnect twice, but with both times, without you, the connection will be broken. I don't want to sound like a douche or anything, but that is a fact. We are not the same people we were two years ago and since you are not here anymore, it is even harder to talk to them, since the only theme that is spinning in my head is you and only you. It will be over soon and nothing will be the same. 'That summer' will be just a far memory that maybe some of us will ever forget. I am referring to it as 'that summer' because I don't know if I should call it the best time of my life or the worst. Because right now, I am missing you too much because of the time we spent together and feel like I will never find a friend like you. I didn't have a fun time at my summer vacation, because I knew that you were lonely and that after that small fight and apology text, that nothing will be the same. We had a lot of chances to see each other, but you never called me back. I had a feeling in my gut that something like this would happen to me and I tried to stop it, but I guess I'm not that powerful. I certainly didn't want you to get away from me and for me not to see you ever again, but it happened even with me being aware that something like this will happen''.

He sighed deeply and tilted his head to the side because his neck was getting tired holding a head full of thought and pain. A huge migraine was killing the boy, because he was holding so much, including the tears. The veins in his arms were popping out from his fists being closed shut.

''Is it because the lies were eating you up or it was something/someone? I don't care that you lied to me about your name or your life; I just want to know if the things you told me, the things you didn't keep quiet about are true. I need to know, so I can be sure that we are real friends and that you actually trust me and cherish me. I am slowly starting to doubt our friendship because something tells me I am not the only one in your life that knew certain things. I think Craig knew about the cutting but just doesn't want to say it. I didn't tell him that is for sure, but did you tell him? Is he a better friend to you then I was ever? I am going crazy right now because you are not here to answer these questions, such important ones! I want you to tell me that I am not crazy and to calm me down with your quiet and soothing voice. The angelic touch you have. Where the hell is you?!''