Life compelled

53~The Lost

Here's a song to listen along if you wanna

We all walk to the grave yard my father and Alex were buried

We decided that even though they hated each other we should still put them together

They're still family

We each placed a flower on my fathers grave

Here lays Jason Wakefield. A father, mentor and loving husband

He never told me officially but I knew him and my mom were married

I found their rings when I packing his books and journals last night

I decided to put them on his grave along with the flowers

I like to believe they're together now, wherever they are. Hopefully happy and at peace

We all decided to say something in his behalf

Brie went first

"Here lays Jason Wakefield. Even though we never had a real conversation he would always tell me how glad he was that I was Isabella's friend, and that even threw all of this I still stuck around and didn't bail like most people would have. And I'm glad I did. Because he raised an amazing daughter with an amazing heart. I couldn't ask for more"

I smiled and watched her stand beside me as Olivia was next

"Jason was like another father to me. He helped me do spells after I found out I was witch. He let me go though his books and dust up on some old history. My dad would kill me if he found out I was saying this but he was the best teacher I've ever had" we all laughed a bit then I went up

"I love my father with all my heart. He helped me when I didn't think I needed help. He has been with me, training me all my life and I know no one better than him. He took care of me when he could have just given me up. When I went to find Klaus and lost my humanity I treated him like shit but he still believed in me coming back. He brought back my humanity. He really believed in me" I fell a tear roll down my face "I wish I had done the same. He needed me and I did nothing" I feel myself about to breakdown

Brie holds out her hands and I immediately attach myself to her

"It'll be ok" she pulls away and smiles "it's always ok"

I feel Olivia's hand on my shoulder "and even if it isn't we are here for you"

I smile back at them

Brie smiles at me then begins to turn her attention off of me

She stares right behind me with her jaw slightly dropped as her smile slightly faded

I turn and I immediately see them

I stand there processing if it was real or not, then immediately ran to the one closest to me

Ethan

He hugs me tightly and I do the same

I look up to see Grayson right behind him with a half smile on his face

He lets go and leads me to Grayson so I can hug him as well

"What are you guys doing here?" I slightly pull away from him. "Brie called us. She knew you wouldn't have" Grayson said

"I didn't want to be a bother" "hey" I turn back to Ethan "you are never a bother"

I hug him again

This time for longer

I felt more tears leave my eyes and so many emotions going on in my body. Happiness, Sadness, feeling safe again

But soon enough reality settled in again and the pressure that had been released came back

When we pull apart he does the same thing Brie did

He looks just behind me only confused but also surprised

I turn to see Elijah, Rebekah, Hayley and Klaus

I don't know what came over me but I ran to him and hugged him

He didn't accept at first but I feel him slowly let me in

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the funeral I went home alone

I walked in and heard nothing, just utter silence

That was when I realized silence was loud

But I wanted silence, I needed it

It would be easier to do it in silence, with nothing distracting me

I look down at my neck to see the necklace Ethan gave me

I had never taken it off since he gave it to me

I jump as I hear the door open

I sigh "I said I wanted to be alone" "I don't believe you"

I see Brie come in with a vase of flowers "from my family" she says and sets it down

I fake smile and she walks over to me

"I can't imagine what you going though" "I don't wanna talk about it" I start to walk away so my back was towards her

"That's whats been bugging me" I hear her footsteps getting closer "before the funeral you were so quick to pack all of his stuff away. Like you didn't care how you would feel tomorrow. Then I realized...you're not gonna feel tomorrow. You're gonna turn it off"

I sigh and turn to her "you can't" she says "why not? I don't want to feel grief or sadness anymore. It hurts"

"Do you remember the last time? Olivia told me how you went off the rails" "then I came back" "but what if you didn't. Do you remember how you felt afterwards last time? Iwasn't there then but I'm here now and I won't let it happen again"

She pulls me into a hug

"I know it hurts. But you can't do it"

I pull her closer then snap her neck

"That's not your choice to make"