Beginnings • c.h

Chapter Four

Chapter Four - Annika POV     *edited*

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. My head was running the same thought on repeat. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I finally looked away from Luke's face, unable to bear the mix of emotions flitting across his expression. Betrayal, anger, concern, hurt and betrayal again. It pulled at my heart strings to see him so torn.

"Anni... Is it true?"

The quiet tone of his voice didn't match his expression The calmness sent alarm bells ringing in my head, the lack of reaction only symbolising how much worse this was than I initially thought.

 My brain clicked into overdrive, trying to think of ways that I could deflect the situation, trying to stop it from getting any worse than it already was. Instead of coming up with a reasonable excuse, all I could do was try to play it off. This was going to be a matter of explaining the truth of what happened and lose Luke forever, or lie and keep him protected from the truth. There was no doubt in my mind the decision I would make.

 Pulling on an expression of neutrality, I made myself relax and tried to act my false- innocence.  Attempting to make myself look confused, I raise my eyebrows at him. "What are you talking about, Luke. I just brought the pizzas in..." My voice was completely nonchalant, all except for the small quaver that gave me away. 

Luke's expression darkened, and his voice rumbled like thunder. "Don't bullshit me, Anni. Calum just told all of us he walked in on you and Ashton swallowing each other's faces."

I couldn't help it - I gulped. The emphasis on  Ashton's name only made it worse, Luke's face twisting into a scowl- like it physically hurt him to say his name. The frown on his face creased so deeply I was worried that it would become permanently etched on. God, I couldn't lie to him, lying only brought more problems...

"Luke, listen it wasn't-" My voice was pleading, my only free hand came up in surrender. 

"Wasn't what, Anni?" Luke interrupted throwing my hand away from him in disgust. "How could you? You promised me! Not even a week ago!" His thunderous voice rose with every word until it crescendoed on the last statement. I felt my face contort in pain at the mention of my broken promise.

I had to explain, I had to make him listen. My voice was hurried and broken as I spoke. "Luke, please, I was talking to him about being friends and he-"

Luke's voice cut through mine, interrupting once again. "Did he force himself onto you? Oh, I am going to kill that bastard-" I felt a surge of horror flow through me. I was shaking my head before he even finished his sentence.

"No, Luke! Would you let me finish a goddamn sentence so I could tell you what happened!" I shouted at him, outraged that he would think so lowly of Ashton. Memories flashed passed my eyelids as I blinked, but I pushed them back as I listened to Luke.

"Then what happened, Anni? If it wasn't his fault like you know it damn well was before?" His voice was calmer again, slightly appeased by the transparent sincerity in my voice. My gaze flicked between the others in the room. Calum and Michael were both staring between Luke and I, clearly confused by our verbal tennis match. Only Megan stood watching us, understanding dawning on her face.

I knew I shouldn't have felt anything for him, but I couldn't help but hope that Ashton had left the house already, simply for his own safety. I could hear the relief in my voice as I explained. I was beyond happy that the anger in Luke seemed to be dimming already.

"When you went back downstairs to talk to the boys, Ashton came up to the kitchen to talk to me about, you know, 'our history' or whatever. He asked me whether I could forgive him and I said I couldn't. But I suggested possibly being friends and I went to shake his hand but he hugged me instead, and he lifted me up like he used to- I don't know how he still does it- like I'm definitely heavier than I used to be, like hello have you seen these thighs..."