the good girl

sixteen: say it.

chapter sixteen of the good girl.
"say it!"

Finn's POV.

Sometimes you won't let go of what's making you sad, because it's the only thing that made you happy. Millie, made me happy. As much as I hate to say it.

I was wrong to do this to her. I was wrong to kiss iris. I was wrong to of left her that night. I was all wrong. But now all I have to hold on to are memories of what once was.

"Aww! Little princess is having a tantrum."

"Please! I'm the opposite of a princess! I'm a bad girl!"

"Oh your a bad girl now?  Hmmm bad girl Millie..."

It kills me knowing that I'm no good for her. It kills me knowing she could have someone amazing, like jack. And what she said to me that day-

"My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you, it was thinking that you had fallen for me too! I guess that's where I fucked up, I loved you and I thought you loved me, but how the hell could someone love me if they can't even be faithful. You didn't deserve me or maybe I didn't deserve you. Maybe I wasn't meant to feel the butterflies in my stomach when your skin touched mine! Maybe that feeling was actually a sign, I wasn't meant for you! And you know what I can't deal with this, I can't deal with your shit anymore Finn!"

- it hit me like a ton of bricks.

And I miss our conversations. I miss how we used to talk every minute of the day, and how we were able to tell each other anything that was on our minds.

"Have you ever been in love?"she asks curiously now laying down, her chest on the bed and her legs kicking in the air to the beat of the music.

"Not that I know of." I answer simply.

"I think you'd know if you were in love." She says as she looks up to her ceiling in thought.

And she was right, you do know when you're in love. I just wish I'd known sooner how much she really meant to me.

Anyone who had known me then would say I loved her far too much. Like a wildfire, or the sharp edge of a knife, or a thorn on a rose. Anyone would've told her, I stopped being who I was the second she walked into my life. They would of said love wasn't supposed to make you crazy, make you want to pull your hair out and scream. And they were right. Because there was love.

And then, there was her.

I only thought there were two kinds of love: The love you would kill for and the love that you'd die for.

But you Millie. You are the kind of love I'd live for. And you were this whole new sector of love, handmade, tailored and all.

You are, the love that came without warning; you had my heart before I could say no.

In French, you don't really say "I miss you", you say "Tu me manques" which means "You are missing from me." and I think that's pretty accurate right now.

She's missing from me.

I feel like I'm a puzzle, missing one piece.

Hint-
She's the piece.

I really hope she thinks of me at 4am, and feeling sad and lonely. As bad as it sounds. And when she wonders why she's sad I hope she realises it's because she misses me. But deep inside I know she doesn't. I really miss what we almost had.

I'm drowning, and she's standing there's 3 feet away yelling "learn how to swim!". No, literally she's standing three feet away.

Heck, do you know how hard it is to not run and hug her?

Crap it.

She can push me away all she wants, but I need to feel her presence in my arms right now.

"Millie?" I say walking towards her in full speed.

"Finn?" She asks confused.

And then I do what Ive been longing to do, and let me tell you, it was way overdue.

I latched my arms around her and hugged her tightly, tears already streaming down my face.

And I could only think one thing.

Say it.
Say it before it's too late.
Say it before you run out of time.
Waiting is a mistake.

"Finn, oh my god. Finn! What- what are you doing? Stop it! Don't do this to me!" She said, tears now visible coming from her eyes.

"Millie! Millie please let me talk!" I cried.

"No Finn I can't- I can't.. I- I can't do this again. Please." She says in between sobs as she tries to push me off her.

"Millie! Please just let me take you somewhere please, give me a chance please?" I say hopefully.

"Finn, I have to get to class." She says consciously her eyes scanning the halls, where people walked past minding their own business.

"Come on! No one will notice. Please just let me explain. What happened to 'I'm a bad girl, I don't care Millie?" I say trying to change the dreary atmosphere,

"O-ok." She said contemplating her answer.

And with that I took her delicate hand in mine and pulled her through the crowded halls, before she could change her mind.

-

Big things happen next chapter!

Btw pop up if you have any requests for any of my books!

- Tee