fillie.
I turned around to see Finn approaching me. For a minute it was like the world froze. I stopped breathing as I looked up at him. My knees felt jittery and weak. He smiled at me. God damn it! That smile. That freakin smile. If only he knew wh...
guys this is so sad i don't want it to end but then again i do!! this is all so exciting and scary at the same timeee!!
hopefully everything will make sense now <3
this epilogue is dedicate to @lorin9090
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chapter twenty-five of the good girl. "such a doomed love."
"she left." iris said.
"she what. why did she leave? why didn't you invite her in? what did she say?" i rambled. this could not get any worse than it is right now. i know that it was wrong of me to be hiding something so big from her. but what was i supposed to say? 'hi im 56sorry i stood you up but i had to be rushed to the hospital because i apparently inherited haemochromatosis from my father which is the real reason my parents aren't together.'
i couldn't do that to her. who did she think i was? did she really think that after all if this is hurt her again? that's the last thing I'd want for her. okay so yes, i'm no good for her, but i'd never want to hurt her. god i would die for the girl. if only this was different circumstances. if only I hadn't met her the way i did. if only i wasn't the way i was.
"well, she hardly gave me a edge in ways. she was all "how do you feel you broke the unbreakable girl, oh i should've known i was just another stupid girl to him, blah blah blah. she really does love to play victim doesn't she. like seriously you're in here looking like a zombie and half dead whilst she-."
"she doesn't know, iris." i cut in.
"she doesn't know? what? you mean you didn't think to tell her! no wonder she was rambling all that stuff. and do you realise how stupid you're being. don't roll your eyes at me. the poor girl. why did she even turn up today anyway?"
"we had a date."
"you had a date! are you serious! and what you stood her up? god do you know how that must've felt. you don't deserve this girl. not one bit. didn't you think to call her? to tell her what was going on? maybe then she could be here with you and standing by you instead of crying in her room because you stood her up!" oh, so now she's on millie's side? great.
"okay, iris. i get it. i was stupid. but i just didn't want to burden her with my problems. i love her, i really love her. and i don't know how to tell her and i just- i don't know. millie and i have just been on and off for the last three months and i really just want it to come to an end. but nothing works in our favour."
"she saw you kiss me the other day."
"oh my god. she probably hates me. and again, im so sorry about that. it's just everything with you know... the operation. it got to me and i-."
"i understand iris. you don't need to explain yourself to me."
"so what are we going to do about this mess?" she said after a long period of silence.
"nothing iris. nothing." i sighed. i was just about done with all this. she deserves a life. i don't want to hold her back with all my luggage. i couldn't do it.
-
It all made sense now, he wanted her not me, i was a stupid game to him. If only I'd have stayed away when Maddie had told me he was the school heartthrob.
It seems like so long ago now, since I met him. The bloody cursed day I met him. Curse my selfishness. Curse my eyes. Curse that day. Curse him. Curse us.
We were eternally doomed.
Maybe there was a dream of us once together, we would laugh, smile, hold hands under the sunset and proclaim a love we once gave to each other.
But we were so doomed. We'd of kept our hands tight forever as our hearts grew and grew, and for each star you couldn't possibly count in the sky, that, was my endeavouring love for you. doomed, ferociously. if only the circumstances were different. if only I hadn't met him the way i did. if only i wasn't the way i was.
