fillie.
I turned around to see Finn approaching me. For a minute it was like the world froze. I stopped breathing as I looked up at him. My knees felt jittery and weak. He smiled at me. God damn it! That smile. That freakin smile. If only he knew wh...
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chapter seventeen of the good girl. "chaos really."
"Fuck! When will you understand Millie? I want you on your good days and your bad. I want you on the days where you can't even get out of bed. I want you on the days where you're dancing around your room in your underwear. I want you on the days where you make me want to rip my hair out and scream, the days where you make my cheeks hurt from smiling to much and my lips hurt from kissing too much. It's you. I want you. What ever life throws at us I want you. I will always want you. Millie I love you." He says clutching my hands.
Bullshit. He doesn't love me.
If he loved me why did he kiss her?
"Please don't. Don't use 'I love you' as a filler when you've got nothing to say. Don't us it as an alternative for 'sorry'. Don't use it when you're feeling bad, or mad. or even sad. I don't want to hear it. Don't use it to escape an argument. Don't say it out of pity, I don't want your pity. Don't use it against someone. Ever. You have no clue how to love."
"I do."
"Whatever Finn, it's a little disheartening knowing you'll never feel the same."
"I do Millie, I love you."
"This so freakin scary. You make me scared."
"Why are you scared?"
"I'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person! And I'll I can think is 'damn it's gonna hurt when he leaves'."
"What's love without a little fear? Who ever said love was meant to be easy?" "Pinterest." I answer smartly trying to lighten the mood. He laughs then sighs. "Millie, I don't know where I stand with you. I don't know what I mean to you. All I know is every time I think of you, I want to be with you. Dying to know, afraid to find out." "Prove it!"
"Ok." He says.
And before I can stop him (not that I ever would.) he pushes my back to the wall and rests his hands firmly on my cheeks, something he usually wasn't very keen on. And pushes his lips on to mine engulfing me in a long, strong, very needy kiss. He pulls away his eyes scan my reaction. I let out a soft sigh and trail my eyes to meet his.
"Millie, you don't have to forgive me. Just please believe me when I say, I love you."
"I love you too." I say with a sniffle and a small smile.
"Oh thank fuck!" He shouts grinning.
"She smiled, I'm off the hook!" He jokes.
"Only this once." I say smiling against his lips before kissing him again, but this time less needy and more tender.
He was trouble Chaos really But his smile His smile Dared me to fall in love with him.
-
Hand in hand we walked up the front of my house. I didn't want this day to end but I knew, eventually this had to come to an end.
"So I'll see you Monday?" He asks as he turns to face me.
"Yes, you should." I smile.
"Good, maybe sooner?" He says smirking giddily.
"Hm... maybe." I say laughing.
He lets go of my hands and kisses my cheek. "I'll call you." He says.
"Please do." I reply.
I watch as he turns to walk away, a bliss feeling in my stomach. Gosh what is this feeling.
I open my front door closing it quickly after me. I sink down the door sighing heavily. He's so dreamy. At the corner of my eye I see my mum looking at me knowingly with a happy smile plastered on her face. It's almost as if she can feel my happiness and us reflecting it back at me. But deep down I know it's only because she saw the whole scene on the front through the window. I smile weekly at her before going back to my daydreaming.
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ew okay i don't like this chapter it was a complete mess so yeah i promise next chapter is so much better like seriously it's pre-written and i fcking love it!
