The Chronicles Of SkyArmy - SSundee

Ssundee- Chapter 23: Dying Inside

(A/N: Listening to sad songs so this chapter will probably have a lot of feels in. :/ )

When Derp and I were back in reality, the first thing I noticed was that Lancey and Diamond had gone. Probably just as well. Despite the fact that I knew Derp was really who I loved, Diamond had been... well- she just was what I thought... I broke down. "S-she didn't h-have t-to leave. S-she could've a-at least t-told me..." "I know Ssundee." Derp put his arms round me and rested his head gently on my shoulder. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. "You'll be alright though...you're strong. The strongest person I know." "You can't know many people then." "No. You're strong inside. After all those years of trying to take control, I realised that it was futile. You're just too...resilient." He drew away. I nodded slowly, taking in the empathy of his words. "Thanks Derp." "Welcome." "Shall we...go then?" Derp took one last look around the clearing. "Yeah, I think I can get us outta here." "Um, Derp?" He looked over at me. I played nervously with my hands under his gaze. "I was wondering if we could go back to SkyArmy. I mean...safety in numbers right?" To my surprise Derp nodded. "Yes, I was thinking we should too." "One problem though." Derp looked at me, tilting his head slightly to one side. "What is it now?" "I don't know the way out outta here..." He grinned. "I do."

***

By the time we made it out of the jungle the sun was setting, bringing the stars out into the blood-streaked sky. I saw SkyBase up ahead, wreathed in shadows. Mitch and Kermit were on duty. Mitch saw us first. "Well, you've got some nerve coming back here. Sky was well p***** off when he discovered you'd left." Then he looked around. "Um, where's Diamond...and Lancey? Are they...are they dead?" I shook my head mournfully. Derp went over to Mitch and Kermit and whispered some stuff quickly. I caught, "Lancey and her...nearly died...Herobrine...needs some time alone-" Their eyes widened as they took in what he was saying. "Right. I'll go notify Sky that you're back." Kermit walked off, leaving Mitch, me and Derp alone. "I'm gonna go check our borders for squids." Mitch left too. Derp turned to me, speaking softly. "Ssundee, you ok?" Everything that had led up to this, everything that had happened between me and Diamond, after everything I'd been through, after being emotionally and physically torn apart, something snapped inside. "No I'm not ok! The world is ending and the only people who can stop it is me and you! And from the state we're both in, I don't think the world will be saved anytime soon!" Derp went silent. Then he brushed against me gently and sighed deeply. "I know Ssundee, but we have to have faith. That's all we can have, and hope. We can hope for a better future. When the war's over, I promise we'll start a new life, me and you." I nodded slowly, then lost it completely. I ran off, ignoring Derp's shouts from behind me; tears streaking down my face.

Despite his good intentions, Derp didn't understand how I felt. How I was broken inside. I ran blindly into the dark shadows of the woods. Eventually I had to stop; chest heaving and taking gasping breaths I sat down on an abandoned tree stump. The darkness enveloped the atmosphere around me, darkening my thoughts too. I drew my sword from its scabbard, gazing at the cold, metal sheen of the blade. It wouldn't hesitate to kill; I was the person wielding it. Would I hesitate though? That was the question. I sighed, calming myself. Why was I thinking of death and destruction now of all times? I had just discovered a new sensation. Love. But I knew Diamonds' betrayal would haunt me forevermore. My face crumpled as stifled sobs escaped my mouth. I couldn't hold them back any longer. What was the point anyway? My misery and whimpers echoed around the small clearing. Why did life have to be so hard? Why was it always me that suffered the most? All through my childhood I had been bullied, pushed into a corner. Forgotten. Burdened with two minds in one body. They used to tease me about my eyes...Derp's eyes. That's when I realised. While I had been revelling in my own misery, Derp was probably worried sick about me. I stood up, ready to leave, then tensed. I heard a noise behind me; a twig splintering. I whipped round, already with my sword drawn and fists clenched. Ready for a fight. My eyes narrowed when I saw Diamond standing there.

"How can you still have the nerve to show your face to me again?" She looked mildly amused. "Ssundee...I don't remember you being so hostile when I first met you-" "Thats because when we first met you hadn't left me for some random guy we picked up from the jungle!" She scowled. "Lancey loves me Ssundee, more than you ever did-" "I DID LOVE YOU DIAMOND!" "Then how come you never showed it!" "Maybe because I was battling internally with some psycho who wanted to kill you?!" "But you love that Derp!" "He won't betray me!" "How do you know that?!" "Because I trust him!" "And you didn't trust me?!" "Good job I didn't! If this is how you repay me!" I realised I was crying. Again. "Poor Ssundee. You've been reduced to nothing but a broken mess. Barely a human being. You're dying inside Ssundee. You just won't admit it." Now I felt fury fuel my system. I took a step forward, clenching my sword. Diamond's eyes widened. "You wouldn't-" "Like you said Diamond. I'm barely a human being. So perhaps you won't mind if you're killed by an animal." "You're turning into him!" "Who?" "The Derp." She whispered hoarsely. "Derp isn't an animal." "No-" She agreed. "He's a monster." Anger rushed through my body, adrenaline pumping through my veins. "You take that back." I hissed venomously.

Just as I raised my sword I felt something crash into my side. I landed hard on the ground, my sword falling out of my hand and skidding out of my reach. I squinted up at my opponent. I started as I saw a familiar pair of crooked eyes staring wide-eyed back at me; full of shock and horror. "Ssundee, what's happened to you?!" "I-I don't know..." I glimpsed movement out of the corner of my eye and saw Jerome and Mitch tackle Diamond to the ground. Then Derp rolled off of me and helped me up. I froze as I saw Sky standing there, hands on hips, glaring at me behind his sunglasses. "Care to tell me what the f*** happened here?" He asked, gesturing around us with his hand. "Derp runs off into the woods after you, we follow and find you about to kill an innocent woman-" Derp cut him off mid-rant. "All we could hear was shouting and crying! I was so worried about you..." "So why were you about to kill this woman?" Jerome cut in. I glared at Diamond who had finished struggling and was now hanging limply from my friends' grasp, playing the victim. "This woman has made my life living hell. Making empty promises to me, running off with some random guy, breaking my heart, and messing with my head. She deserves to die." "Dood, just because she p***** you off, doesn't mean you try to kill her!"

I transferred my glare to Mitch. "You have no idea what she's put me through in the past 24 hours." "Um, Ssundee?" I turned to Derp. "What?" "Can we talk...privately?" The rest of the gang nodded slowly and padded back through the woods back to SkyBase. Alone now, Derp turned to me, a fierce light burning in his eyes. "What did she do to you?" I told him what she'd said about us. He scowled at the ground. "Why would she want to provoke you?" "I dunno." His eyes widened. "Her eyes weren't...glowing were they?" I shook my head. "No. She wasn't possessed." The anger in Derp's eyes softened as he gazed at me. "I love you." I couldn't help it. I started grinning like an idiot. "What?" "Nothing. It's just your eyes go all misty when you say that." "Do they?" "Yeah." He looked up at my eyes. His expression hardened. "I know what you're thinking Ssundee." I looked away guiltily. "Don't go after Herobrine please. In fact, don't do anything. I'm not letting you out of my sight until I'm sure the worst of this has blown over." I nodded slowly. "Ok." He sighed. "I'm starving. Can we go back now?" I shrugged. "If you want. I'm not really hungry." Derp pursed his lips.

"What else did she say that hurt you? You haven't told me everything. I know you Ssundee. You bite your lip when you're nervous. Which is when you're hiding something." I silently cursed myself for allowing myself to be read so easily. The old Ssundee would never had let that happen. ~The old Ssundee would still be mourning for Diamond, friendless and dying alone.~ I shut my eyes tight, trying to block out these thoughts. When I opened them I saw Derp looking at me sadly. "You're hurt inside Ssundee. So badly not all of it can be fixed." He sighed. "But I'm gonna try." I smiled, then allowed myself to be led back to SkyBase, back home...I hadn't told Derp what Diamond had said. That he was a monster. That's what had really set me off, and I didn't want to hurt him anymore then I already had...I did love him after all. And I knew he wouldn't betray me. In fact, with us on the brink of war, I may have to betray him in order to save his life...