Finding Drew

Different Kind of Heartbreak

 After making a cup of Peppermint Tea, I sat on my bed and looked around. It wasn't home, and it never would be. But I needed a new start. It would be close to impossible for me to keep on living a normal life back home, when I passed Drew's house every day. And it'd be even harder to not walk past it, and be welcomed into his embrace. I sighed and grabbed my phone. Emma had texted me, and for once, I didn't want to talk to her. I replied to Lauren though.

Lauren: hey, how ru doing?

Me: i'm okay. Hbu? Emma just texted me, should I respond??

Lauren: NO! Whatever u do don't respond! She's in Chicago rn with some friends. I swear Brook, don't look at it.

She was in Chicago? A month ago we would've told each other every single detail of our lives, and I would've known she would be in Chicago. But that was a month ago, and I'm constantly reminded that everything changes. I sighed and opened up Emma's text. My eyes widened immediately as I saw what she'd written, and then they filled with anger.

I swallowed hard, and thought about what I was about to do. Closing my eyes, I tapped Emma's name on my contacts, and lifted my phone to my ear. She answered on the 4th ring. "Wow! You're actually alive." she said dryly. I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath. "What is wrong with you?" I snapped. When she didn't answer, I continued. "You're supposed to be a friend, Emma! Lauren was miserable while I was gone, and what did you do? You abandoned her!" I stopped, and closed my eyes, clenching my hands into fists. After a small sigh, Emma spoke. "You cannot make me the bad guy, Brooklyn. I didn't leave my best friends, and I didn't keep secrets from them." I groaned. "What are you talking about? I didn't keep any secrets from you guys, and I never left you." I said firmly. I could pretty much hear her rolling her eyes. "Just shut up, okay? You are not a good friend to me, and you never have been." she said. I suck in a breath and closed my eyes. "So we ignore each other, pretend that the other person doesn't exist. But deep down, we both know it wasn't supposed to end this way." I said softly. It was silent on the other end for a little bit, until Emma spoke again. "You've always thought that you were stronger than me," she said. "But this time, I'm not going into drama with you, I'm walking away." I laughed bitterly. "Anyone can run away, Emma. It's super easy. Facing problems and working through them that's what makes you strong." And then I hung up. I shut my eyes tight and swallowed. There was a soft knock on my door, and I looked up. It was Lauren. I smiled weakly, and she sat down next to me. "Hey, I was totally not listening outside your door, but what happened?" she asked. I laughed. "Emma and I aren't friends anymore, no big deal," I said avoiding her eyes. Lauren rolled her eyes, and glared at me. "No big deal? Okay, you've always been a terrible liar, but seriously? This time is definitely the worst lie." she said. I smiled, and sighed. "I just want to forget about her, Laur. I think that's why our parents didn't tell her about moving, they wanted me to start over with the people I love the most," I explained. Lauren shook her head slowly. I looked up at her and raised my eyebrows. She sighed. "What happened to you, Brook?" she asked softly. I bit my lip. "What do you mean? I'm the same person I've always been." I replied. She chuckled sadly and shook her head again. "That's the thing, you're not. I agreed to come with you guys because I wanted my best friend to find herself again. Not to lose herself completely." she whispered. I swallowed back a lump in my throat. "Lauren, come on, I haven't changed. I'm still the little girl who had pigtails until third grade, I'm still the girl who was there for you through it all, and will continue to be there for you in the future." I said. Lauren sighed, and stood up slowly. "I'm sorry, Brooklyn. But I don't know who you are anymore, ever since Drew was diagnosed, you're the one who seems to be dying." she explained. I shook my head. "I just, I don't want him to die, Laur," I whispered. She nodded. "And I get that, I really do. But I don't want to lose you either Brooklyn." she said, walking towards the door. "Where are you going?" I called after her. When she turned to face me, her cheeks were wet. "I miss the little girl with the pigtails," she said after a small pause. "I love you, Brooklyn Grace, but right now, I can't stay here. I'm sorry."