Finding Drew

Losing It

When I opened my eyes, I was at home and someone was knocking on my door. "Go away," I said hoarsely. The door opened slowly and Emma and Lauren walked in. Their eyes were red, and when they saw me Lauren's lips trembled. I broke into sobs quickly and looked away. Sighing gently, Lauren climbed onto my bed with me, wrapping her arms around me. Emma stood in the doorway, but I knew she was crying too. I closed my eyes tightly and swallowed hard. "He's gone," I whispered. Lauren nodded against me and bit her lip. "I'm so sorry Brooklyn." she whispered. I couldn't answer because tears were streaming down my face and sobs racked my body. I shook my head and looked up at my ceiling. Emma cleared her throat and reached into her purse. "Here," she said, her voice raw with emotion. I looked at her outstretched hand and saw it was a CD. I swallowed as I moved to the desktop I hadn't used in a long time and slid it into the disc drive. Emma nodded at Lauren, and she stood up. "We'll be downstairs if you need anything." she said gently. I nodded, and waited for them to close the door before pressing play. My eyes widened as Tyler's voice filled my room

"Hey Brooks. You're probably wondering why this is from me, and not Drew. And it's because Drew's alive. I'm the one who's gone."

I shook my head re-reading the words. Wait, Tyler was dead? I let it sink in before I wiped my face, clearing the path for the new tears that were already spilling, and continued reading.

"I loved you, Brooklyn. And I know I didn't tell you that enough, but I did. We never agreed on a lot of stuff, but we did agree on one thing; the fact we couldn't live without each other. We had each other's backs for years and I wouldn't have survived life without you. You know the deepest, crappiest parts of me, and you know what ticks me off. You've always fought for me, no matter how hard the battle was. I don't want you to think about my death as the end of everything. I don't want this to go on for long, because I know you're crying your heart out right now, and I don't want this kind of pain for you. You're probably thinking that this isn't fair, and that you wished we had more time together. Or maybe that you didn't break up with me. But here's the thing, Brooks. You can't protect everyone. But you know that, don't you? Because last time I told you that, you know what you said? You said, "I know, but I have to try." And that means so much to you doesn't it? To try and save everyone? But right now, you can't be the hero, okay? You just need to be you. You're daring, brave, and beautiful. Let the world run its course, and when you're able to look past my death, then you can think about saving the world again. Right now, I want you to just live your life. I want you to graduate, get into the college of your choice, make good friends, get a boyfriend, I want you to continue growing up. You can't let this affect you. You have to look past this, Brooklyn. I hate that I left you, and that you probably hate me for it. But you still have Drew. Take care of him. Don't let him cry himself to sleep anymore, and don't let him be hard on himself. Be there for him, if anything I need you to promise me that. You were meant to live an extraordinary life. So please promise me that you'll take care of Drew, and yourself. I love you, Brooklyn. Always and forever. To the moon and back. And to infinity and beyond."

I continued to cry for the next hour and a half, until sleep overcame me. When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't alone. Austin, Sam, Blake, Lauren, and Emma were standing around my bed, each of their eyes were red and swollen. I swallowed and slide out of bed and slowly moved towards Sam. His eyes widened, and he shook his head, tears spilling down his face. I shivered and hurried the rest of the way to him, wrapping myself in his embrace. The last time we had cried together was when our dad died, and this didn't feel familiar at all. But it felt good. I sobbed quietly and pressed my face against his shoulder, trying to calm myself down. After a while, I finally pulled away and looked up at him. He sighed and forced a small smile. "He lived a good life," he said quietly. I nodded, and looked around my room. Blake smiled at me and I forced myself to smile back as I hugged him. "I am so sorry," he whispered into my ear. I nodded, and pulled back. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked quietly, my voice hoarse. Lauren stepped closer. "We wanted to take you out tonight, you know, the night before prom." she explained. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I don't really think I want to go to prom," I said slowly. They nodded, but didn't say anything. Austin moved towards me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, letting me relax against his side. "Laur, you and Emma go home," he said firmly. Lauren opened her mouth to protest, but she didn't say anything. After a moment, both she and Emma left my room. It was just me and the guys now. After we heard the front doors close, they lead me out of my room and down the stairs. I gasped as I looked around the living room. Pictures of me and Drew were on the floor, the furniture, and the mantle above the fireplace, along with candles. The archway leading to the balcony was opened and paper lanterns were sitting on the ground. More tears filled my eyes and I looked at Sam as I heard him crying. He grabbed my hand and squeezed gently before we moved to the deck. As each of us grabbed a lantern, I looked up at the sky. I raised my hand along with the rest of the guys and let my lantern go. "I promise, Tyler." I whispered. "I promise."