Finding Drew

The Speech

 "So, any new Summer romances?" Lauren asked as I started decorating locker. I sighed, and rolled my eyes. "You know I'm not dating... ever," I added. Emma sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Brooklyn, I know that Matt, like, totally destroyed your last relationship, but you need to move on now," she said softly. I froze. Nobody ever mentioned Matt's name to me. I glared at her and turned my back to them as I finished decorating my locker. Slamming it shut behind me, I whirled around. Emma was blushing and avoiding my eyes. I softened and hugged her. "I'm not mad Ems, I promise. I just don't like talking about Matt, not right now," I said softly. Emma let out a sigh of relief. "I know Brooklyn, and I'm sorry for-" before she could finish, the first bell rang. Groaning, we hurried down the hall and towards our classes. "Bye, Ems and Lauren," I called before hurrying into my first class.

As I made my way to the back by Drew, I saw that Matt was also in this class. Again I froze, and a million memories ran through my mind.

You're the best things that's ever happened to me Brooklyn.

I'm lucky to have you babe, you mean so much to me.

I love you so much Brook... all those things he'd said had been a lie. I shivered and hurried to sit next to Drew. "Everything okay Brooks?" he asked raising his eyebrows. I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Definitely," I said. Luckily I didn't have to say anything else, because the late bell rang, and Mrs. Hendricks stood up. "Alright everyone! Please get out your 50 page essay that I asked you all to type over the summer, and pass them toward the front," I pulled mine out and smiled. I'd loved writing this, because it was basically my life laid out on 150 pages. I watched as everyone handed theirs to the front. Well, everyone except Matt. Surprisingly, Mrs. Hendricks beamed at him and nodded. I watched as my ex boyfriend made his way to the front. Mrs. Hendricks shot us her death glare before stepping forward. "Normally, I wouldn't allow this. But this time, one of our fellow students has written about the love of his life, and I find it inspiring," she sang. I rolled my eyes and Drew laughed, covering it with a fake cough. Matt cleared his throat, and looked around, purposefully avoiding my eyes. Finally, he began:

"How do you look at someone you love, and tell yourself it's time to walk away? Especially, if that person made your life, actually worth living," he paused and I noticed his voice was getting thick with emotion. I winced, and took a deep breath, knowing that if he started crying, I would too.

"Uhm, I was dating a girl, that most of you know, for 2 ½ years. She was beautiful. Literally, I was amazed by the beauty in my girl. She didn't care about the latest fashions, even though she could afford them easily, and she didn't care about money," I cringed as everyone turned towards me and smiled. I ignored the looks and looked at Drew. "Did you know about this?" I hissed. Tears filled my eyes when he turned red, and I knew the answer as I turned back to Matt.

"The thing is, I could be myself around her because she was that easy to be around. She wasn't just another person in this world. She was my person. And damn, was I lucky," my eyes widened, and I forced back my tears.

"I was at the point where I would've left the whole world behind for her. She was everything to me. But then, I had to screw everything up. Shed told me that the one thing she was scared of, was a guy hurting her. Of a guy promising her his love, and then taking it away. Being the typical Romeo I am," everyone laughed and I giggled softly, "I promised her that I'd always be hers, and that nothing could ever take her place in my life, and in my heart. But I was afraid, I was fucking afraid that I'd hurt her, that I'd rip out her heart and replace it with a stone. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like I could keep her safe from all the bitches in this world. So I panicked. I was stressed to the point that I started failing every single class, and that I'd start making excuses to avoid calling, texting, or going on any dates with her."

I remembered those weeks well, they'd hurt me the most. "And I knew that she would start to think maybe I was having an affair," he continued," so I told her that I was. I told her that I didn't think we were good together anymore, or that I loved her. That's right. I told her that I didn't love her anymore and that-" he stopped and that's when I noticed tears streaming down his cheeks. Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I told her, that I never loved her, and that everything we did, talked about, or dreamed, was just a joke to me, and that she meant nothing to me." he choked on his words, and for the first time, I noticed his cheeks were wet. I swallowed hard as I felt tears falling down my own face. He took a deep breath and continued. "I... when I walked away from her, I saw the pain in her eyes, and I died inside. I saw the sadness in her eyes and I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think of anything that I could say that would take her pain away. So I kept on saying in my head, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."" he stopped and that's when he noticed I was crying too. I couldn't meet his eyes, and when I finally looked up, he was standing right in front of me. I sucked in a breath and our eyes locked. He swallowed hard and bit his lip. "Brook, if... if I could go back in time, rewind. I swear I would. I would make it up to you somehow. You... you changed me forever, and I'll never forget you." I nodded, knowing that if I opened my mouth, sobs would come, and neither of us needed that. Mrs. Hendricks beamed at Matt, and everyone awwed and clapped. I forced out a smile, and then looked away from everyone. Great, I thought. Now what am I supposed to do?