The Attainment of Evangeline

Chapter 19

Several months had passed since Jack had left. Evangeline found herself lost at times. For the first week she had locked herself in her room and alternated between crying and sleeping. Her father had tried to coax her out, but of course he did not know what was wrong. She found that she no longer knew what to do with herself; her father was taking care of himself, and Jack wasn't there for company any longer. She tried reading, only she couldn't focus on the words or the story so she eventually set the book down, and never picked it back up. Most times she just wondered the market, fiddling with the emerald stone ring she kept on her finger. She had run into Nathaniel one day in the market; he was all smiles of course. She had told him Jack had left and she kept it at that.

One day she finally told herself that she had to quit wondering aimlessly around like a ghost with no purpose. She willed herself to forget about Jack, for he had surely done the same with her. She stashed his ring away, deep in a drawer along with the Jane Austen novel, for every time she came across it her heart fell just as Anne's did when she had seen Frederick for the first time in thirteen years.

Evangeline slowly started to push the memories of Jack in the back of her mind as a year passed, as two years passed. And then three. She did of course relapse a few times, when she was going through her drawer and she happened upon the ring, the memories came flooding back. Or when Nathaniel would ask if she had heard anything from him.

Nathaniel had become her best friend over the course of three years, although he had not professed his love for her, she knew it was there. They hadn't kissed since that night at the ball; while they were together at all times, they were simply friends. But the doctor did love her, they both knew it, he thought only of her. She did not love him, every time she sat and tried to ask herself why she shouldn't be with such a respectable man and friend, Jack came to mind.

She also had acquired a job as a barmaid at the local tavern to help her father with the income; it was a respectable job for a woman of twenty-two. Then one day, she discovered her father on the floor of their kitchen, face down and completely unconscious. Nathaniel explained to her that his liver was failing, that he was still quite ill.

"I don't understand, he has been perfectly fine," she said as they sat by the fire.

"Evangeline, this kind of illness does not just sneak up on a person; it takes time to damage an organ like his has been-"

"What are you trying to say? That my father has been lying to me for years about his drinking habits?" she asked.

Nathaniel took her hand and looked her in the eyes, willing her to understand.

"Nathaniel, no...he.."

"Geline, there is no other explanation, I'm sorry."

She turned away from him.

"How long does he have?" she whispered.

"Three months, maybe four. I'm surprised he has lasted this long without any signs... Oh don't cry."

"What am I supposed to do? We'll lose the house, I'll lose my job if I am to take care of him all the time!..I...I can't lose him. I'll have lost everyone I love," she wept.

He took her hand in his, sighed, and told her to look at him.

"Geline, I know it's no surprise how I feel about you..."

"Nathaniel," she said.

"No, let me finish. I love you, Evangeline. I have for almost four years now," he said, the fire casting a shadow across his handsome face.

"I know," she whispered.

"I... I don't know how you feel about me, so what I'm about to say may...shock you, but know that I do love and care about you, immensely."