Antagonist of Men

Chapter 44 *Indecisive*

 A/N: Crappy update. But I have to update this. Wahhahaha. Happy Reading! :D

When I woke up feeling dizzy, I immediatley checked my phone. Na-late ba ako ng gising? When I opened my phone, I automatically saw an unregistered number. There were 2 messages, and when I read it, I felt my heart beats like a drum.

'Meet me at the restaurant I'll text you. 4 PM sharp, I will wait you, no matter. I'll be there.'

Yan ang mga nakasulat sa text message na galing kay Ford. I may not know who owns this number but I know that it's Ford. No one will text me such message, except him. I closed my eyes trying to imagine what will happen if ever I'll meet him. Will I give him a chance? For Pete's sakes, that man ruined me 3 years ago... But.. I would be lying if I'll say that he was not the reason why I used to smile before. He was once my savior, he took care of me when I needed someone, he would shower me kisses whenever I felt broken, he taught me something that nobody else has ever done to me before.

At some point, he made me feel special.

'God, help me. I'm desperate. Should I give him a chance? Will I still have my happily ever after?' mentally, I prayed. Gulong gulo na ako sa nararamdaman ko. Takot na ako sa pwede pa ulit mangyari sa secong chance na yan.

"Hoy!" I was lost when someone spoke that loud. "Umagang umaga ganyan mukha mo?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes on her. Manang mana talaga yung kapatid ko sa kanya. Gosh! Wala man lang ka kyeme kyeme. Walang poise! Manigaw daw ba?

"Ma, you don't have to 'Hoy' me." I protested.

"Kasi? Baka naalala mo, anak pa din kita at nanay mo pa din ako. Things might have changed between your status but I will always be your mom!" I reached for my temples and massaged it desperately. Seriously? Bakit kailangan ko pa kasi magkaron ng nanay na mabunganga?

My eyes automatically searched for Dane's presence but I found nothing. Nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay ko ng mapansing nawawala ang anak ko. My mom, on the other side of the bed was fixing the beddings looking really busy.

"Ma? Nasaan si Dane?" I asked her.

"Lumabas sila nila Jaxon. Kanina ka pa hinihintay gumising nun," She paused and shrugged. "Pero tagal mo daw, kaya nag stroll muna sila, kasama ang step dad mo." She finished. I nodded silently.

My mind thought about the message I received earlier. Then I looked at my mom, she once experienced this kind of situation and I don't know how the hell she managed it. I was so young back then when my mom decided to cut her communication with my dad. Wala akong ka muang muang kung ano ang nangyayari sa kanilang dalawa, hanggang isang araw nalang, I caught my mom carrying a luggage, crying.

"Ma," My voice cracked. She met my eyes and I swear, yung mga tingin pa lang na yun alam kong nag kakaintindihan na kami. "Paano mo ba pinatawad si Papa dati?" I nearly cried when I said those words. Those words that I've been trying to figure out for the past years of my life.

I rested my head at the head board of the bed. She sat beside me with a soulful eyes. "I learned to accept. Natuto akong tanggapin yung mga bagay na hindi ko natutunan tanggapin dati. Kasi, once na natutunan mo i-accept yung mga yun, madali nalang sayo para magpatawad, gaano man kalaki ang naging kasalan niya sayo." I sighed.

"Paano pag sobrang sakit ng ginawa nung taong yun sa akin? Ang sakit, Ma." I suddenly felt hot tears running down my cheeks.

"Ang Papa mo, niloko ako niyan. Hindi lang isang beses, ang masama pa, nahuhuli ko pa siya palagi. Pero kahit ganoon ang nangyari, natutunan ko pa din siyang patawarin, masakit sa dibdib, Alex. Oo, pero mas masakit sa dibdib kung hindi mo susubukan tanggapin ang pagkakamali ng taong yun. Biruin mo? Araw araw mo dadalhin yun. Imbis na masaya ka, eto ka, namomroblema sa mga bagay na dapat matagal mo ng binitiwan." My eyes won't stop from crying. I'm bit my lower lips to lessen my sobs.

She gave me a straight a face.

"Ford, asked for your number last night." Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Mama. "Kung gusto mo talaga patawarin yung tao, makipag kita ka sa kanya. Bihira lang ako makakita ng ganyang tao, he gave up everything for you, his fame, money, carreer." Tinignan niya ako ng makahulugan.

"HIndi pa ako ready." She gave me a horrifying look.

"Hindi pa ready? Don't give me that bullshit, Alex. Ready ka na, dati pa. Takot ka lang." Para akong natauhan sa sinabi ng nanay ko. It was like a hard slap in the face. "Nasa sayo pa din ang desisyon, pero ang pinupunto ko lang naman dito, sana maging maayos na kayo para kay Dane. Siya ang pinaka naiipit ditoo sa sitwasyon na ito." She stated before going out of my sight.

I didn't like this feeling.

I checked my clock. 12:30 PM. I mentally cursed. I get back to sleep not wanting to wake up anymore. But everytime I close my eyes, I always see Ford and I kissing outside my condo. His soft lips, pressing unto mine... It just feel so right. Our lips crashing with each other, my body against him. Damn. I opened my eyes and dried my tears. Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na naman pala ako.

I tried closing my eyes again, but this stupid brain of mine won't stop showing me a flashback about that kiss we had. I don't know how many hours passed but I don't care, I don't have a plan of showing up with that bastard either... Or should I? Ugh. Umuwi lang ako ng Pilipinas, na stress na ako nag todo!