Book 2: The Seventeen Heirs Series; Jeon Wonwoo (SEVENTEEN FANFIC)

32: THIN AIR

[Baby why can't we just, just start over again, get it back to the way it was? If you give me a chance, I can love you right, but you're telling me it won't be enough. - Wait For You by Elliott Yamin]

Leanne Aianne's POV

Somewhere, the clock was ticking. And somewhere inside me, I could feel something was breaking.

My heart was tearing apart. And I couldn't do anything to stop it, and neither can Wonwoo.

In a snap, what I believed on vanished. Everything that I've been holding on vanished. All I've got was a string of lies, doubts and stroke of pain.

"So." I croaked, trying to get past the bile clogging up my throat. "After all that I've said and done . . . after everything that I've lost . . . after all the things I let go . . . I only get this from you. You still can't bring yourself to love me."

My lips arched in a resentful smile. "Tell me, Wonwoo . . . of all the things you said to me yesterday, which of them were true? I bet none. Because all of them were lies." I shook my head and laughed. I'm insane in my own hearing. Well, I feel like one. I want to be insane with all the feeling battling inside of me.

Wonwoo remained silent. He left me all alone — hurting alone.

"I can't believe this . . . I actually believed — no, I let myself believe that you're not capable of hurting me. But what changed? When it comes to you, all of thing I thought were all wrong. All of my hopes were wrong. And after all these years . . . it's still because of Light that you can't see what's really inside your heart. Until now, you still didn't choose me, because Light is still in between us, still a barrier. You just want to get defeated by the past that we can't change.

But me . . . I was true to my feeling for you. I tried to accept the past. I forgave myself, because not forever, I will cage myself in my own conscience. I also wanted to be happy. But I see now . . . it's not me who can make you happy. I only make you feel worst."

I let a tear slip from my eyes. I can't stop the tears that want to come out of me. I just can't hold it any more.

"I just wish you didn't lie. I wished you didn't tell me you love me. It hurts, Wonwoo. It hurts because I believed on what you said."

I moved back, attempting to leave. But Wonwoo still made no move. He didn't even bother to look at me or even stop me when I turned my back on him. He seemed like he was waiting for me to leave.

Despite the tears, I was able to find the door and left. The air was so intoxicating it actually hurts to breathe them in. I didn't even feel that I didn't breathe inside. My lungs just wouldn't expand. I thought I just stopped breathing from the pain.

I didn't know how I ended up on my unit. All I know was everywhere I look, I only saw tears.

And everything inside me was dying.

I immediately turned off my alarm clock when it rang. It was already the fourth ring, but until now, I'm still wrapped under my blanket.

I waited for a minute before I pushed my blanket away. Slowly, I opened my swollen eyes and stared at the dark ceiling – exactly what I was feeling right now. Soon, the sun will light up the sky . . . but never in my heart.

I closed my eyes again and sighed when a tear escaped from it. It just won't stop. My eyes were stinging, that even air would hurt, but it's not enough for my crying to stop. It's as if they're just there, waiting behind my eyes until they flow everytime I feel that sting.

With one last sigh, I left my bed and immediately frowned when I felt the sudden pain on my head. I immediately clutched my head and groaned. I feel like shit.