Rigid Crow

Sprout Wings

It's been nearly a week since the accident. I can hardly remember the half of the events that occurred in these past few days. I know that we're still moving on in the tournament. We won our last couple of matches. We struggled, but we did. Suga-san had to sub in for me a few times, which is much more than he's ever done for me in a match before.
The team has been holding together well, and we've begun to keep a schedule on who should visit Hinata on what days of the week. However, with so much going on in everyone's lives, I doubt the schedule will last very long. But I'll do what I can to be there for him as much as my own agenda allows me, even if no one else does. Hinata deserves at least that much.
     I've been able to visit the hospital a few times since the day it all happened, and I'm going again this evening. The nurses have told me to simply talk to him. It may or may not help his condition. Whether it does or not, I don't care. Well, not that I don't care for him to wake up! No, not at all! I mean, of course I want him to get better. I need him to get better! ...But I would talk to him in whatever state he was in whether it would help him or not. It just... seems right.
My mom agreed to drive me to the hospital, and we arrive at last. I say a hasty thanks and goodbye. Pushing open the hospital doors, I make my way down the halls to the ward where they keep Hinata. I've now memorized the way.
     I'm about halfway there when I meet Saki-san in one of the corridors. "Oh, Kageyama-kun!" she exclaims in greeting, giving me a pure, genuine smile. "It's so nice to see you again!"
     I can't help but hold back a grin in the presence of this woman. Her cheerful aura is quite contagious. "But Saki-san," I begin to explain, "you just saw me yesterday, and the day before that."
     "Well, the more times you meet with a person, it's all the more wonderful each new time you see them, right, Kageyama-kun?" She smiles again, optimism practically radiating off of her. She almost reminds me of Hinata...
     "It depends..." I respond. "Hey, you're in a particularly good mood today, Saki-san."
     "I hope it rubs off on you, Kageyama-kun. You'd look good with a smile!" the young doctor notes.
     I give her the smile that I've given to my teammates, the smile that Hinata told me was frightening, and the rest of my teammates cringed at. I guess smiles just don't suit me, at least, I sure can't pull them off. Saki-san's own smile quickly turns to a slight grimace. "Maybe not."
     I continue my winding down the halls to Hinata's room, waving farewell. Saki-san waves as well, then returns to whatever she had been working on before.
     I stand before the door of the room and knock softly, not wishing to surprise or intrude on anyone who might be in there already. I open the door to find the room empty... well, at least apart from Hinata. The past few days I've been here, there's always been a nurse, one of my teammates, or one of Hinata's family members in the room with me. Right now, I am alone.
     I take a seat in the chair next to Hinata's bed and look over at him. He's hooked up to so many machines; they are keeping him alive. To me, that's such an unsettling thought. His skin is paler than usual, and his carrot-top seems to have lost a bit of its own brightness. It's odd to see Hinata without a glowing smile on his face, or maybe even a look of ambition and determination; that look he gets whenever he plays volleyball. Will I ever see that look on his face again?
"Oi, Hinata," I begin, "you'd better wake up soon, alright? Or else I'll just have to punch a smile onto your face if you don't do it yourself, you hear? Someone probably told you already, but if they didn't, we won the game today. Suga-san had to sub in a few times for me. It's funny, I want to be in the mindset for volleyball the entire time, but my mind keeps... drifting, you know?
"Volleyball was supposed to be the only thing I cared about. But now, you've made me into a worry wreck, and I don't know what to do..." I bury my face in my hands in defeat. "I think today's win will be our last win in the tournament. The team hasn't found our 'click' without you yet. Takeda-sensei says it's because one of our gears has been taken out, when we had just gotten all of our gears to fit together. He gives confusing metaphors, but I think I finally get it. And if you, only one of our 'gears', is taken out, and our team is so affected... how hard will it be next year when all the third years leave and first years join us? Well, I guess it'll be different. The third years will only be off to college or something, while you... you should still be with us. You shouldn't be here."
I laugh humorlessly. "Sorry, I shouldn't say that. If Suga-san were here, he'd try to karate-chop the negativity out of me."
I pull out my homework. "Well, you're at least lucky that you don't have to worry about English class for the moment. Yachi's tutoring session with me today was kind of helpful, but Tsukishima's snickering behind me was not. Ugh, why do we even have to take this stupid class? When will I ever need to use English in my life?"
"I like play volleyball." I try to sound out the English in my assignment of listing my hobbies. "I don't think that sounds right..."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hinata's fingers twitch slightly. Why did it have to be Hinata, our flying bird who could sprout wings when he jumped for our team, who is now a flightless, rigid crow?