Rigid Crow

The Little Time We Have

     I call coach to ask him if instead of practicing today, we could bring the team to see Shō. Due to the gravity of the situation, he agrees at once, notifying the team that they don't have to change after school, just to meet him and me outside of the school. Suga, Sawamura, and Azumane will meet us outside of the school and drive some of us over to the hospital.
     The team comes out together to meet us. The second and third years stop in their tracks when they see their old friends.
"Asahi!" Nishinoya's brows shoot up in surprise. He runs to his friend in excitement. "It's been a while! What are you doing here?"
Azumane rubs the back of his neck nervously, his eyes flitting to me. "I think that's something that Kageyama should share."
     Nishinoya stops abruptly, looking over at me, feeling the mood tense. "Wait, what is it?"
     I look worriedly at Suga, and he gives me a reassuring nod.
     I take a deep breath. "I know some of you are aware already, but for those of you who don't know, Shō's gotten pneumonia. It came on suddenly, and his body can't handle it. It's- It's really bad... We're going to see him now because he might not even make the night."
     Yamaguchi's hands fly over his mouth. A distressed noise of grief sounds from Nishinoya.
     "How long?" Kinoshita asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "How long did you know and we didn't?"
     "Only a couple of days," Suga says hurriedly. "We ourselves weren't totally sure what was going on and we didn't want to overwhelm him. He didn't want you all to be worrying over him, especially if he was to make a recovery."
Narita has his hand over his chest, doing intentional breathing. Kinoshita rubs his back.
     "You can't be serious," Tanaka says urgently. "This can't be happening! Not now, not after everything!"
     "We should leave now," Ennoshita insists, his voice trembling. "If he really may not make the night, we need to take advantage of the time we have."
     We head over to the hospital together, and the Hinatas leave the room so that everyone can get some time with Shō.
     His computer is on the side table. It seems like he doesn't even have the energy to speak that way anymore.
"Oh gosh..." Yamaguchi squeaks out, as he, Nishinoya, and I are the first to go in. "Hinata?"
Shō smiles as best he can, but he looks even worse than he did this morning.
     "Oh, Shōyō," Nishinoya groans, running to his bedside.
I should never have agreed to let him wait until the afternoon. I should have called the boys out of school right away this morning. Why did I let him wait for the fever to get this bad?
It's everything I can do not to break down sobbing as my teammates crowd my best friend. I'm sorry, Shō. I'm so sorry.
I excuse myself from the room for a moment, overwhelmed. I shut the door behind me and slump against the wall. I don't care who's out here, I just had to get out of there.
Suga and Narita envelop me from either side, and I sink into their embraces, utterly exhausted. Despair seizes my chest. It's so dark. My grief melts into nothingness. Why, why, why?
There are no tears left to shed. I feel terribly lost. My stomach turns and I groan.
     Narita kneels so that he's face to face with me. "Kageyama, did you take your meds today?"
     I think back to this morning, my head swimming. "I-I don't remember... I... don't think so?"
     "Frick. Okay, that's alright. You've never missed before?"
     I shake my head numbly.
     "Does anything hurt?"
     Another pain convulses my gut. "Dammit. My stomach."
     "Is something wrong?" Miyamoto asks timidly, a twinge of worry in his voice.
     Narita nods. "Not terribly, though. Just a symptom of withdrawal from the meds. Different for everyone, but he'll be alright, so long as he gets back on track after this. Though it might take a little bit for your mood to get back to where it was."
"What do you want to do, Kageyama?" Suga asks gently. "Do you want to go back in, or do you need to stay here? Or do you need to call someone?"
I take a deep breath, bowing my head. "I need to sit here for a moment. I can't- I can't- I don't know..."
"That's okay. I'll be right here." He sits at my side, his arm around my shoulders.
     "He's not well," I moan. "He's not well at all."
Nishinoya and Yamaguchi come out into the hall, letting the door close behind them. At once, Nishinoya bursts into tears. Yamaguchi runs to Tsukishima, clutches his jacket, and hides his face in his shoulder, trembling.
Azumane hurries to Nishinoya, though he doesn't look well himself.
I look around at our despairing group. Most of the guys are near tears, including a couple of the first years. Even Tsukishima looks toward the room, fear flashing in his eyes.
"What do we do?" Tanaka murmurs.
"We wait," Sawamura says softly. "And we support him all we can. The most we can do now is be there for him in the little time we have."
     The rest of them take turns filtering in and out of the room to see Shō.
     When Suga next speaks to me, his voice sounds far away. "Kageyama, the choice is up to you, but if you're up for it, you should go and be with him right now. If you don't, you may regret it later."
     I heave myself to my feet because I know he's right. I go in as the last of the boys leave, tear tracks staining their cheeks.
     I'm the only visitor now. The nurses are still flitting about. I sit at Shō's side. I don't know how, but he looks even sicker than before, but worst of all, he just looks so, so sad.
     I take his clammy hand, and he looks at me, his eyes sunken and despaired. His breaths come in shuddering gasps, and his face is red. "S-Sor-Sorry," he whispers.
     "It's okay," I murmur back. "Don't apologize. Not for this. Never for this."
      He starts to cry in shaky, ragged sobs, continuing to break off in terrible fits of coughing.
     "Shō, I... I know you don't want to hear this, but you look like you really need to sleep."
     He shakes his head, whimpering.
     "Yes, Shō. You do. I know you're afraid, but this is the one thing you can do to try to get well again."
     He reaches out and clings to my arm. "No! N-N-No-N-No!"
     "I'm going to get your family. I'll be right back. Promise."
     He won't let go. The panic in his eyes is unrelenting.
     I look him in the eye and tell him firmly, "I will be here from the moment you fall asleep to the moment you wake up. I will be here as long as I'm allowed. And you will wake up." I draw in a long breath, then release it slowly. "You will."