Rigid Crow

Flying

If someone had asked me last year what I expected the next year of my life to look like, I would've told them a few mundane events. I'd keep playing volleyball. I'd try to pass my exams. I might even move forward in a tournament.
I never would've imagined anything close to what actually happened.
Do I look back on the day Shō got hurt and wish I could change it all? That he never had to suffer all the things he did? That I never had to get depression? I do, but I also see what good came out of it, and I realize that this was the way things were meant to be all along.
I got a new home, a new family.
I built relationships I never dreamed of having.
I learned what it means to be loved.
     Suga offers to treat me to lunch, just to catch up, as he's in town for the weekend. How could I say no to free food?
Once we order our ramen, Suga asks me, "So, how are you doing?"
"Oh, fine, I guess."
"No, really. How are you?"
     I pause, stopping to actually think about it. Then it all comes tumbling out. "I- I- I don't know what to do with myself, Suga-san! It's been so long... For months I waited in that hospital, for months I sat with him there, I trained and trained, I went to school, and in every extra minute I had, I tried to study. And after that I helped him get better. After that, I had my accident, and then when I recovered, I was with him constantly again, then practicing, and then— then it's... over?"
     I sigh. "I'm tired. I'm so tired."
     "Then rest." Suga-san smiles. "You've earned it."
     "But it's—"
     "No. Take a moment to just breathe. It's over. You did well."
"But there's still so much more. I'm not better yet."
"No one expects you to be, Tobio. Something like that will take time. It may take the rest of your life, but it may end. Whichever it is, you will get better. We're just going to have to work at it."
"I'm tired."
"I know."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"Study, train, go to therapy, take time to do something you want to do. Eat when you need, sleep when you need. If you need a friend, call me. Talk to the Hinatas when you need a parent. Talk to Hinata when you need a brother. And don't take anything for granted."
"I never will again."

:::::::::::::::::

3 months later

Exactly one year from the day Shō got hurt, he's stepping onto the court again. His eyes are bright as suns, and he bounces his knees like a spring. He's blabbering on and on about how excited he is to be back.
As soon as he walks in, dressed for practice, the guys erupt into shocked and elated cheering.
Nishinoya runs to him, enveloping him in a hug. "Shōyō! So late? We're all leaving soon as the tournament's done! We start tomorrow!"
"I-I know," Shō says with a smile, his shoulders sagging. "I really-really-re-really wanted to pla-pla-play with you ag-again."
"It's okay. You're back. That more than enough."
"Hinata!" Kinoshita runs over. "I can't believe it! I was scared you'd never come! Or that we'd be gone when it happened."
Ennoshita, Narita, and Tanaka are right behind him. "Welcome back, Hinata," Ennoshita says, smiling warmly.
"We missed you!" Narita exclaims, patting Shō on the back. "Nothing was the same."
"Y-You-You were playing for-for-for me," Shō responds.
Narita blushes, crossing his arms. "Well, there was that. I have to admit, it was fun."
"You just had to come the day before our last games, huh?" Tanaka shook his head and laughed, throwing an arm around Shō. "Hey, did you get taller?"
"Only a cen-centimeter. My-My-My growth w-was obviously st-st-st-st-st-stunted this year."
Tanaka guffaws. "A centimeter's a centimeter! Trust me, next year, you'll be growing weed-style like our buddies Tsukishima and Yamaguchi." He gestures to the two, who have joined the conversation.
Tsukishima snickers. "He wishes."
     The first years jog over. Handa and Miyamoto greet Shō with beams, and even Sanada offers a friendly nod.
     "So are you back to normal, Shōyō? Can you still jump? Use those quick reflexes of yours?"
     "N-Not-Not like I used t-to. But I'll train su-su-su-super hard."
     "Yeah, you will!" Nishinoya throws his hands up in the air. "You'll jump higher than ever, yeah?"
     "Yeah!" Shō looks at me, literally trembling with anticipation. "Se-Set for me?"
     "Warm up first, dumbass."
     He glares at me.
     "Then I'll set for you."
     His pout flips into a beam. He scampers off to do warm-ups with the rest of the guys.
"After peppering, we're going right into a practice match!" Coach shouts.
Once we're ready, he lists off the lineups for each side. We haven't been able to do a practice match on our own since last year. We've only had eleven guys. The only thing is, is Shō up for it.
He said he was when Coach asked, but I can't help but feel nervous for his sake.
My fears are validated.
He was fine up until he was on the court, but once in position, he freezes. Everything tumbles upon him, his gaze growing horrified. His shoulders begin to shake as his breathing gets out of order. He excuses himself, holding up his hand, but only gets as far as the gym wall, where he stands shaking.
Ennoshita ducks under the net and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Go help him. I'll tell people we need to put this on hold for a few minutes. If he's not up to it after the attack, just let us know and we'll switch up the lineup."
I nod, then run to Shō, who's breathing heavily and has his head pressed against the wall.
I put my hand on his back. I remind him to keep breathing and I talk gently of things I won't remember later. Once he begins to calm, I ask, "Are you alright?"
     "Y-Yeah."
     I squeeze his shoulder. "Take a moment. It's okay, I swear."
     "It's b-been for-for-forever since I've had-had-had one awake," he says through gasps.
     "That's okay. We thought this might be scary, yeah? But now we're here. It's already passing, see? You're making it through."
     He nods, taking deep breaths. He curls into my chest.
     "I promise that nothing will happen to you. Not while I'm here."
     "I know," he whispers. After another minute, he says, "I-I-I-I-I didn't think it would bo-bother m-me-me."
"That's okay. It's good to get through this now."
     After another minute, he nods. "O-O-Okay. I'm re-ready-ready."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
We go back together, and I signal to Coach, who's reffing, that we're okay. He nods, blowing the whistle to begin the game.
My eyes dart to Hinata as the serve comes over the net. He has snapped to attention, just as attentive as he used to be in games. I smile. Yeah. Everything's going to be just fine.
Kinoshita receives from the back, and the ball soars in a high arc to me. I know at once who my first set will be to.
Shō's already making his approach, swinging his arms, and jumping. The ball flies from my fingertips, and we watch in awe as his hand comes down on the ball.
I thought I'd never see it again.
He's flying.