Rigid Crow

Celebrating For Him

     "Let's tie the balloons over there," Yachi directs two of the girls from our grade. Obediently, they collect the bounty of balloons and take the ribbon with them.
It was a great idea to have the party in Hinata's own yard. His parents wholly appreciated the idea with enthusiasm. His sister was quite excited as well. What toddler wouldn't be? It's a party!
     It's June 21, and none of us would've ever imagined that we'd be spending it without Hinata. It's... odd. Though the few of us who are here early are already having a good time setting up, there's a weird tension that's hanging around us. I mean, has this ever happened before? Is it not weird to throw a birthday party for someone you know will never be able to come?
"Kageyama!" Yamaguchi's chipper voice sounds from behind me. I turn to see him and Tsukishima walking up the driveway. Yamaguchi takes in the sight of the almost fully set up party. "Wow! This all looks great!"
     "Yeah, well, Yachi put together most of it," I tell them, glancing over at her making final preparations. "I know this party was super late notice, but she's done an awesome job."
     "There's going to be food, right?" Tsukishima asks, adjusting his glasses. Yamaguchi giggles.
     "Yeah, Hinata's parents planned all of that stuff," I answer collectively, though, honestly, I'm just as excited for the food.
     "How are they taking everything today?" Yamaguchi asks, his voice quieter than before.
I remember back to earlier today. I arrived at the Hinata's house about the same time as Yachi did so that we could set up early. Yachi immediately asked where the folding chairs and table were and left right away to get to work, her arms full of decorations.
I, however, was left to exchange greetings with Hinata's family. Natsu, as always, was thrilled to see me. Hinata-san greeted me warmly, his cheerful expression practically glowing, just as Hinata's would. Hinata-sama smiled and said her hellos as well, though I noticed some smeared makeup on the side of her face- barely noticeable, but I wondered if she had been crying earlier.
     "I don't know, to be honest," I admit to Yamaguchi. "I mean, if they are feeling stressed or sad, they're hiding it pretty well."
None of us really know what to say next until Yachi practically bounces over to us. "Hi, guys!" She waves cheerfully to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.
Yamaguchi grins and waves back. Tsukishima nods in acknowledgement. "We brought another camera, too," Tsukishima adds, pulling a disposable camera out of his back pocket.
     Yachi beams. "Perfect! Make sure to take lots of pictures! I don't want Hinata to miss a thing! I forgot to ask earlier, but you brought yours, too, right, Kageyama-kun?" She turns to me, a camera of her own in her hands.
     "Yeah," I pull my own out of my front pocket. "It's cheap, but it works all right."
     The day goes on and everyone else arrives. The entire boys Karasuno volleyball team comes, along with many of my classmates.
The party is fantastic. A yard volleyball net is set up in the yard. We sing the happy birthday song in front of a lit cake in front of a video-recording camera. We assumed that would be the highlight of our videos and pictures for Hinata, if he ever got to see them.
His gifts are left wrapped, and I wonder how long they will stay like that. Will he open them himself, will someone else when he doesn't, or will they be left untouched always?
In between pictures and food and volleyball and everything else, I really have enjoyed the party, but everything knows that there's something missing. Of course, it's obvious to what that something is, but everyone seems to be avoiding the elephant in the room, and I don't know how to feel about that. Is it okay that even though this party is meant for Hinata, people are kind of avoiding even mention of him?
     I've got to say something. I surprise even myself, because before I know what I'm doing, I realize I'm calling everyone to attention. Soon enough, the bustle of the party goes quiet and about twenty-five pairs of eyes rest intently on me.
     My throat goes dry, and I don't know what I need to say. I catch Suga-san's eye, and though he doesn't even know what I want to say, he nods and gives me a small smile, as if to say, Go on, it's okay, I'm here.
     "Sorry to interrupt," I start, taking a deep breath, "but we need to remember something before this party is over." A few people cock their heads and whisper to each other. Oh gosh, what am I doing? "We all know that this party is for Hinata. I mean, of course it is, it's his birthday." I grit my teeth in the midst of hot embarrassment and continue, willing my voice not to shake under the pressure. "I can tell that everyone is avoiding even mention of him, of why we're here. It's a party, shouldn't we be celebrating? We're here to celebrate Hinata's life. He was really excited for today. It's okay to be happy about that. That's the whole reason we're here, isn't it? We're celebrating this party for him, so he can experience it through us! I don't want to share this day to him through lies. I don't want to tell him of how much we wished he were here, or how much we talked about him, or about how much we did in acknowledgement of him when we really didn't. Today doesn't have to be sad, as long as we don't make it that way, right?" I don't know what else to say, yet everyone keeps staring, waiting for what I'll do next. I look at my feet, stunned by what I've done. That was... so unlike me.
"Kageyama's right," Sugawara comes to my rescue. "We don't have to avoid the topic of Hinata- let's just celebrate instead!" He gives, a bright, beaming smile. Murmurs of agreement spread throughout our small crowd. He picks up one of the small plastic punch cups and raises it. "To Hinata!"
     Others, to my surprise, do the same, joyously repeating the phrase. The party then continues as it had before, but now, everything just seems warmer, more relaxed.
     Suga nudges my shoulder. "Well spoken. I'm proud of you." Those words make my heart swell with pride, and I realize that, yes, I've said the right things.