Bullies Can Love (Niall Horan AU)

Chapter 52

KENDRA'S POV

"What do you mean?" I asked clearly confused, "Was this letter about me?"

Tears threatened to fall from eyes as I tried looking at Niall in the eyes.

"Look at me Niall. Was it or was it not about me!" I yelled

When he looked up at me his eyes were red. His cheeks stained with tears.

"No. It wasn't." He whispered.

"Then who was it for? Because clearly it was addressed to me, Niall." I said crossing my arms.

"Kenny I can explain." He whispered as he grabbed my hand.

"Stop." He continued to try and grab a hold of me.

"Stop that!" I screamed, "You can NOT touch me until you explain yourself!"

I was feeling a mix of emotions at the moment.
I was hurt. Angry. Sad. Disappointed. Why couldn't he explain himself? We're those really his feelings towards me? Was Matty right all along? Does Niall still hate me that much?

"Kendra please. It's not what it looks like. Give me a minute to compose myself and I will explain everything." He said looking at me pleadingly.

I nodded as I sat on the far end of his couch. I crossed my arms yet again and waited for him to begin.

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NIALL'S POV

"The letter wasn't really meant for you. I wrote your name and added a few things only because I knew Matty would find it."

"And what exactly did you write about me in the letter because it all seemed to point at me." She said very unconvinced.

"The friends part, the name, and the keeping a close eye on you part. I admit I did keep an eye on you back then and that was wrong on my part but the rest of the letter was not about you."

"Then who?" She asked looking very confused.

Should I divulge my past to her?

I'm afraid she will leave and won't come back. I don't want her to leave my side ever again. I love her and seeing her leave will break my heart.

"The letter was written for and about my first girlfriend. I started dating her after my mother died. She resembled her so much. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and same attitude. I was very much in love with her. For the longest time I thought she was too. That is until she started acting weird around me."

I paused taking a look at Kendra to see how she was taking everything. She seemed unpleased.

"She started skipping classes. Then skipping on dates. Once I had enough I started to follow her. I had a feeling she was cheating on me. One day I followed her to the next city over. She stopped at a motel and was met there by another guy. He kissed her and pulled her inside. I was furious at the sight."

The memories flooded back and all I felt was anger.

"I was so angry that I went to knock on the door. The guy opened the door and when he did, there he stood, half naked with my ex on the bed under the covers completely naked. My anger took over me and I punched him. I walked out and went home after that. I couldn't stand to look at her. A few hours after she came to my house, we made up but it was a continuous cycle. She would cheat, i would get angry and we would get physical. She'd throw things at me, scratch me, punch me, and threaten me. I'd do the same. We got to the point where we hated each other which is the reason i wrote the letter. Yes i hated her. I did want to kill her at one point but I never sent the letter. I was so lost. I needed to get my anger on paper."

I looked at Kendra. The expression on her face had gone soft. I could tell she felt bad for me.

"Why did you save it?" She asked.

"The letter? I needed a reminder to be a better person. When I stopped bullying you, I went home and took this letter out. I could feel the anger oozing from the paper. I vowed to never feel that way again and so I decided to look for you and apologize. I NEVER want to feel that hate again. Especially not towards you Kenny. I love you so deeply and I would kill myself before ever hurting you again." I say finishing my story.

She stood up. She sat next to me and hugged me.

"Niall, I am so sorry. I judged too quickly." She said kissing my cheek.

"I do have a new letter written about you though." I say smiling.

"Yeah?" She said with eyes bright.

I nodded. I stood up and walked to the garage where I had set Kendra's belongings. I pulled my notebook from out of the pile and walked back into my living room. As I walked back in I began to read it.

"My dear Kendra."

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