Lately I've been wondering
Where I have been
What happen and how?
I felt like I'm too low
Im not the girl I am before
I didn't do the same things I've been doing long time ago
I didn't recognize myself anymore
Its like that there's a monster living inside me now
I lost my all
I didn't how I end up here
Why I end up here
I just notice the monster is eating me slowly
You could see me but not the old real me
You can see me smiling but not the same smile I wear before
You watch me laughing but I will tell you a secret
Its not me
The real me is slowly killing by the monster inside me
Its like its make me get overdosed by a pill
For me to slowly fading
Cause baby its not me anymore
I'm faking everything my acts
I didn't even like it but how can I stop?
The monster is killing me remember?
I am not me anymore
I want to scream but even my throat gets dry
I want to speak up but my voice fade
I want to get out in this hell
But what can I do I am a slave of this evil monster inside me
Theres so much thought ruining my head
It hurts like hell
I really want to end it
If I can't get out in this I wanna end it
The sadness is reigning in my whole
The agony is making friends with me
My self confidence leave me
My inner self betrayed me
Every three am the monster is waking me
I don't know if I should be thankful because my tears never leave me
I really don't know who am i know?
Please help me to remember everything
I didn't know whats the purpose of me being there
I feel like a trash
I am a useless piece of shit
A pathetic loser
Hey where are you people that surrounds me
Can you see me?
Come near me
I might need you
Why did you let me enter this situation?
Am I worthless?
Am I not worth your love?
Where are you when the monster catch me?
Why couldn't you listen when I told you my story
Why couldn't you approach me when you saw me alone
Why didn't you notice the heaviness I'm lifting
Why didn't you lend me your shoulder when I need to lean on?
But its okay
I'm okay
Even I didn't know If I can fight the devil monster
But you're welcome to fight with me
Cause when I fail
I didn't know what else I could do
I'm tired
I didn't know how long I can bare with it
Signing off
