Ok so I forgot how to write oneshots, and Imma make one for every anime I'm into rn. Probably gonna be short-ish, but I'll make lots.
**
HQ: RESTART ( KuroTsuki )
Someone who rejects people without hesitation is evil. That's why I reject people while feigning kindness and disappoinment.
I've never really liked someone, because the situation I'm in doesn't allow me to know a person well enough in order to make me say I know them.
My family often moves from place to place because of business, and I'm forced to transfer schools. They're 'kind enough' to get me going to a normal highschool as a normal student. I don't know why they refuse to jump to homeschooling despite being filthy rich now.
Of all the schools I went to, these girls would confess to me thoughtlessly, without considering the long-term attitude I might actually have.
Just because I'm an athletic smartass who looks decent enough doesn't mean one should go all crazy over me. They don't even know me as a person. Why are these girls so clueless?
Moving schools has been a pain for me when I was a kid, because I really did want to make friends. And when I was told we'd go away again, I would cry for hours on end because I'd be leaving my buddies behind once more.
Although, I learned how to enjoy this lifestyle now.
Making people cry from your absence makes my excitement bubble up even more. Be liked by everyone, reject a few people, and snicker in the backseat as they stare after your car getting farther and farther away from their narrow worlds.
I've learned how to utilize the constant movement of the environment around me, and I formed an alliance with boredom.
If this didn't constantly take place, then boredom would kill me. But if it did, my eagerness would be dominant. Just like that, I easily convinced myself that this kind of life wasn't bad at all.
It was so fun.
Well, until I transferred to some small school in Miyagi, where I met this blonde telephone pole who looks intimidating but is actually nice enough to buy you a drink after a long day.
He was the first person whom I set my sights on, because he looked like a lonely emo with no friends.
Here was my initial thought: If we'd get close, he'll probably break down when I leave him, because he's going to be trapped in solitude once again. It was a perfect scenario playing out in my head, but the other way around suddenly happened.
I haven't even spent enough time with him so as to be able to say I knew him, but now I understood those desperate girls who reached out to me back then.
I was sad when he left.
I was crying again, like my childhood self, when he disappeared, both from my sight and from my grasp.
I attended his funeral after his battle with a chronic illness.
Someone who rejects people without hesitation is evil. That's why I rejected my past self with utmost brutality, because I finally came to remember that being left alone will make you empty.
I want to apologize to them, but it probably wouldn't reach them. Resonations happen when spaces are hollow, but connecting threads is useless if the needle is hollow and fragile.
**
Ok what the shit was that--
YOU ARE READING
trashcan (literal trash)
NonfiksiYou will lose your faith in humanity if you read this. *grabs a Connie Springer* ((last few chapters were written in a not-so-good phase of mine, sooo...))