trashcan (literal trash)

dead apple (movie review)

more like a diss chapter lol

anyways, let's take a break from my rants for now and look at this movie "review" of bungo stray dogs' first movie, dead apple.

firstly... ok, good, some more truths about atsushi was revealed at the end, and it wasn't about dazai (*cough* i'm looking at you, first 6 episodes of season two *cough*).

now we get to the bad points, which is most probably my favorite. wow, this is why my life doesn't get better.

1) again, there is the repetitive "you are a good for nothing" scene in jinko's head. definitely sucks; way too overused for me. idk if they want to highlight a particular word or whatever in that part, but man, come on. haunting me in the series isn't enough, it follows me to the movie as well?

2) atsushi's eyes were way too large at the beginning of the movie. what, he went all shoujo now? like, bigger than kyouka's kinda big.

3) ranpo is a genius. couldn't he have solved the whole thing? (ok, attack me on this one)

4) they didn't tell us who killed the guy kunikida and tanizaki were supposed to meet before the fog broke out. i mean, it's a minor detail that can go overlooked, but i'm curious about whoever went. i don't think um, shit i forgot his name way too soon... we'll call him crystal guy (i mean the white haired guy with red eyes who owns the fog ability). anyways, i don't think crystal guy has any men or whatsoever that would go ahead and murder a government kid at his beck and call. secondly, neither does dostoyevsky and dazai. the first two indeed aren't the type to go to the frontlines to dirty their hands with blood, but it seriously remains unconfirmed bc dazai can just stab a guy and go away without spilling the beans at a point in time. but did he do it? that's the point. we were never told.

5) atsushi kept
a) saying names (e.g. kyouka-chan, kunikida-san, dazai-san)
b) yelling his shit out

6) they didn't even ask where tanizaki was when they saw kunikida on the ground. also, how didn't the glasses guy die of blood loss, like, that was a literal gunshot. you mean he staunched the bleeding with some magic he did without getting his clothes disheveled? is he that proper? like, also, how did he even take the bullet out without getting his clothes off? haaah? there wasn't even any bulge, traces of bandage, or handkerchief, or anything, that would let us see he had patched himself up.

7) how come the office was so messy, yet ranpo was literally unharmed? yes, he doesn't have an ability so no one would be out to kill him. but how the frick did he stay safe while the others were fighting? what, yosano managed to heal him and her ability waited for her to chill the fuck out before inviting her on a duel outside? they let him escape to a base thing, and their abilities didn't attack the detective at all? maybe he hid before all the commotion, but they should atleast tell us. also, how the actual fuck is he alive despite the fact that kunikida's ability literally bombed the whole place? another one, why did he not call out to the people who went to the agency if he was there all along? and how did they not notice him, if ever he was in plain sight?

8) lying alongside #7, how the hell did the others get outside? yes, maybe they were out doing their shit as well, but who the hell destroyed the office, then? well, maybe it was fukuzawa and his ability, but then again, we go back to the ranpo question. moving on, where did he escape, if that was the case? he properly opened doors and his ability let him? maybe, because he's a proper person, but really tho? no traces of struggle on the hallways either, and the outside of the building looked way clean.

9) the secret compartment and code for the guns was way too simple. what if someone accidentally punched the wall two times, or if an impact akin to that of punching collided against the wall, same repetition? indeed, it was for emergency, but where tf are the spare bullets?