trashcan (literal trash)

definitely

ok, i know no one came here to read shit about my oh-so-amazing daily thoughts and do the italian drama, and i swear, i'll try to lessen my rant things i put in here. i just probably need to write it out. oh, but if that's the case, why the fuck am i not jotting it down on a private notepad? why am i smacking my content right into a social media platform where people i don't even know can read it? probably because i'm taking more extensions on my last quest for love for human beings, or probably because i'm just a fucking attention whore who wants everyone to pity them and send those corny as shit emotional messages everyone wants to get these days. either way, i know you're all done with my shit (and so are the people i know irl but i don't give a flying fuck because they can literally just straight out diss me infront of my fucking face if they want to but they're not doing it, so it's their fault for not having the goddamn courage to offend a clam shell) (oh wait, maybe they did drive me away but then i just kinda blocked it out with my superpowers after growing three fucking heads out my ass), but i'm still going to launch my shit into this chapter. no, contrary to what you're probably thinking at the fucking moment, i am most definitely not pissed. it's just that... well, i'm sooo fucking exhausted. i mean, yeah, we all wanna die. i think i'm about to take katsuki bakugo's advice of taking a swan dive of the roof and praying that i get a quirk in my next life. seems like a really fucking solid opinion. very poignant, mmmmmmmMMMmmm fuck you all. no really, i think it's a good point. what if i just kinda die and FINALLY, in my next fucking life, FINALLY i get something better. i am waaay too tired of this same shit, it never changes, it never fucking does. it probably just varies in regards to words and specific occurences, but it's still the saaame ooolllddd laugh-inducing assholery. also, i'm not putting any paragraph things on this one so you'll get bored and throw it aside out of disinterest. psychology shit. anyways, i am waaay too fucking tireddd. luna, let me get a quirk in my next life, you asshole. and make it quick. wow, quirky quick. quick quirk. whaddeva. burn me now chimera, toss me towards the surface of the sun so i can get myself toasted to a fucking crisp. besides that, let's focus on the now. i don't know where the fuck i went wrong today, probably because there were too many goddamn directions i went to. probably because i realized waaay too late what shit might happen if i do this and that. but this time, i have more than two kinds of levitating assrags to blame. firstly, i have my living conditions. if i had been conceived into a different situation, i would most likely not exist to write this here at the damn moment. if i had only been today as i had been that one time, it would probably have been better. i literally just took an eleven minute break to calm myself down because the dogs were being so fucking noisy. i don't know why they were making occasional whining noises like that, but i just had to fucking go out and whack them with an umbrella until i was fairly more calm than i initially was. basically, i would have left them half dead if i was living alone, but i'm not, so the bodies would be a little odd to find first thing in the morning when someone steps the fuck out of the door. and all the while, they were looking at me as if i was some sort of mean as shit criminal who wanted to kill them? well, fuck knows, i don't want to kill anyone but myself, i just want you all to suffer for adding to the hundreds of misfortunes i currently fucking carry. those fucking whining noises were so annoying i want to pull my eardrums off and wipe them clean with alcohol and a scrub sponge. and yet again, my sister, who lies at the top bunk, has shifted and went down to do some of her shit. i want to cut her godfucking legs so she won't be able to noisily go up and down the ladder anymore, and her hands as well, so she wouldn't be able to grab onto the sides of the ladder and that kind of shit anymore. now, where were we? alright, so, if i had not been born as this person i am now (a figure, an effigy? a stone sculpture, a clown, a jester?), i would either have had it better or worse, but the latter is less likely, because what else kind of fucking life would be considered as worse than this? yes, indeed, i'm not the chronically ill kid who doesn't even have family funds to buy an adequate amount of rice for the whole family for a month, but that's besides the point. if my neighbors are suffering from hunger, then that simple kind of misfortune is something i would probably be able to tolerate if i were in their shoes. if i was clueless and simple as they are, being troubled over such matters, i would probably be way happier than i am now. i don't even know why i continue to exist as i twist and turn every night on my bed (or whatever surface i am assigned to sleep on), and if only my neighbor had been given my fate, i would be happily marching towards a life of faith and motivation. if i were to ponder over how to earn enough money for a few days' worth of food supply and not about anything else (that excludes water bills and electricity bills), i would probably be happier. if i were not the kind of person who bore these goddamn things i'm thinking of at the fucking moment, then i would probably be leading a life much, much better than what i am currently seeking to behold. i can only wish i was a normal species of the homo sapiens, but i know that will never come to happen, may it be my next life nor my next lives to follow. i can only fucking wish to have been born into a different world, a whole new different society wherein i don't have to tolerate annoying asshitfaces who annoy me to the very core of existence which makes me want to rip my fucking hair out of my fucking head. now i shall go to sleep, for i have somewhere to be by tomorrow. or later, in this case, but whoever fucking cares about that anymore? it's just the saaame olllddd programmeddd shit i live through for every life anyways.