If You Must

All That We Are Is Shocked

Simon

Baz and Penny are looking at me like I've gone postal. Fuck, I think I've gone a bit postal.

How the bleeding hell did I just conjure a whiteboard? I'm not some kind of wizard from a kid's book-- one who can just make things appear out of thin air. I'm a mage. And mages cannot conjure whiteboards.

I shake my head, trying to clear it. All the movement accomplishes is flopping my hair into my eyes.

"Baz, I can't do Magic Lessons. We have to plan this." I'm not sure if I'm even talking out loud. I must be, because Baz reaches up and pushes my hair off my forehead.

"Si, we have to figure out the extent of your magic. What you're capable of." Penny nods in agreement.

"Baz is right, Simon. We need to see what you can and can't do. You don't have to start today, but you should start soon." I dig my teeth into my lower lip, considering. After a few moments, I give a small, slow nod.

"Fine. But today, I want to focus on the wedding," I agree.

In response, Penny swipes up a marker and goes up to the board.

"All right. You two, start talking. I'll write things down and veto your terrible ideas," she announces, lightening the mood a little. I manage a small smile, turning to face Baz. One corner of those pale lips is quirked up, and those grey eyes shine happily.

"Right. Let's start with size. Big or small, Simon?" I choke a little, trying not to laugh.

"What?" Baz flicks my arm, grinning. "I'm talking about the wedding, you twat. How big do you want the wedding to be?" I barely have to think before I answer.

"Small." Baz looks triumphant.

"I was hoping you would say that. You got that down, Bunce?" He asks Penny over his shoulder. Penny's marker squeaks against the board.

"Yep. Though, if I were you, I would want a big wedding." Baz sneers at her, subconsciously rubbing his bad arm. Out of habit, I reach out and capture his fingers, pulling them away.

"Well, luckily for you Micah's coming soon, so you can remedy that." Penny blushes and mutters,

"Fuck off, Basil." Her tone is more teasing than angry, so I don't intervene.

We continue on with our plotting, deciding on hydrangeas as the main flowers (they're Baz's favourite), some posh type of champagne I've never heard of that the two of them gushed over, and, finally, where not to honeymoon (Penny rolls her eyes at us for being so picky). As we go on, the tension in the air after my weird display of magic slowly dissipates.

I try not to think about what having powerful magic again might mean. I don't really want to consider the fact that things might go back to what they were before I defeated the Humdrum— with Dark Creatures coming after me every other day and people trying to get close to me just for my power. All I want to do is live a nice, quiet, normal life with my soon-to-be-husband, and to not be bothered by all that shit ever again.

My eyes must've glazed over while I was thinking, because Penny grins at me and says,

"Maybe it's time to call it a day, yeah? We've been at it a while." Surprised, I glance at the clock on the wall. Sure enough, we've been plotting for nearly three hours now. Aleister Crowley, three hours and we've barely accomplished anything. I don't think I have the brain power (or the attention span) to plan for weeks on end.

"Wait, before we stop," I blurt out, turning to Baz, "we should pick a date." Penny nods in approval.

"Good thinking, Si. Baz?"

Baz looks thoughtful for a moment, a small crease appearing between those dark eyebrows.

"Right. Well, today's May, what, the twentieth of May?"

"Nineteenth," I correct, a bit proud to have gotten the date right for once. Baz nods.

"Thanks. So, what if we did... sometime late August? Si?"

I think a moment.

"August... fourteenth, maybe?" I suggest. I'm not sure where the date comes from, it just sounds... right, somehow. Penny claps her hands in excitement, cutting off any reply from Baz.

"That day would be perfect! It's a Witch's New Moon— perfect for a wedding!" She gushes. Baz grins, eyes shining in excitement (honestly, the two of them and their wedding ritual obsessions).

"Yes! Simon, that's the perfect day!"

He's smiling at me like I'm the brightest star in any sky. I melt beneath that smile, my cheeks blooming pink and my heart pressing against my sternum.

"August fourteenth it is, then."

———————

Author's Note:

I am SO sorry for my lack of updates. My writer's block came back, and school's been crazy lately (just say 'no' to junior year). However, I've spent today plotting out the rest of this fic, so hopefully I won't go so long without updating again. I will ALSO have some exciting news soon, so stay tuned!

-Lefty