If You Must

All That We Are Is Bittersweet

Simon

Baz and I dance nearly every song together. Slow songs, quick songs, funny songs, serious songs... we dance until I can't remember what it feels like to hold still. The only times we're not dancing is when we're eating (sour cherry scones and champagne go surprisingly well together).

As the song we're currently dancing to ends, I feel a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I see Penny and Micah standing behind us, grinning at us. Penny's looking beautiful in a long dress that's black at the hem but fades into a pretty dark green colour. She drops into a flamboyant bow.

"Baz, I was wondering if I might steal your husband away for a dance? I'll give you Micah in exchange," She says in a posh accent. We all laugh and Baz fakes a sneer.

"Oh, I suppose so, Bunce. But just this once, and don't get too attached to him. I'm rather fond of him." He winks at me, making me double over in giggles. Penny points an aggressive finger at Baz, trying to subdue her grin.

"Same goes for you, Basil. I'll be watching you closely," she teases. Baz laughs, and as the next song starts, sweeps a chuckling Micah into a dance. Penny takes my hands and we join in.

"I'm so happy for you two, Simon," She says. I squeeze her hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"Thanks, Pen. When Baz and I get back from France, we can start planning your wedding." Penny laughs for a moment, but then her face falls.

"Simon... after Micah and I get married," She begins hesitantly. I know what's coming next, but I can't bring myself to speak. "Well... Micah and I have decided we're going to move to America, just for a year or two. Just to... just to try it out." She's talking like her throat is too tight for the words to come out.

Surprising both her and myself, I smile softly at her.

"Penelope, are you happy with Micah?" I ask. Penny glances over at where Baz and Micah are attempting to dance, a faraway, contented look glossing her eyes as she watches her fiancé.

"Yeah, I really am," she murmurs, looking back at me. Still smiling, I kiss the top of her head.

"Then I'll miss you, but Penny, if you're truly happy with him, then it doesn't matter how far away the two of you move. As long as you're happy together, I'll be happy, too." I mean every word. Everything feels so... so bittersweet. I'm insanely sad that my quirky, ingenious, hilarious best friend, who, if anything, is more deserving of the title of 'sister', is moving away. But I really am happy that she and Micah are getting married. If they're even a fraction as happy as Baz and I are, they'll be content all their lives. I want everyone to find this kind of happiness. Especially Penny. And if that means she has to move to America, then, I suppose, so be it.

"I love you, Simon," She tells me frankly, a sad sort of smile quirking her lips. I return the smile.

"I love you too, Penny. I'll still be your best friend when you move to America, yeah? You won't replace me?" Penny shakes her head, her smile widening and her dark eyes glinting prettily in the dim light.

"Simon. You're my best friend-- more than that; you're my brother. I could never replace you, Simon Snow. Not if I tried."

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THREE CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY I AM ON FIREEEEEEEEEE

I feel like my adjectives are getting more creative, too: Feverish, Épanouis, Bittersweet... I think I'm definitely on some kind of adjective roll.