The Darkness of The Sun

Chapter 3

Grant

"So I guess this is it huh?"

"No."

"Grant, I don't know what to do anymore."

"You never know what to do."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, it's not the end. We're not breaking up, and I don't intend on letting go."

"Okay."

"Don't push me away anymore Azaria, I can't fucking take it."

"I'll try not to I'm sorry."

"Thanks, now I have to go I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye."

We stopped texting after that, I sat alone in my room. I had to think about everything for awhile, sometimes I just need a break from her.

I continue on with my day ignoring any thought about Azaria. It's not often I think about her, I never really do. I text some other friends instead.

"Hey!"

"Hi Grant! How are you?"

"I'm good thanks for asking! How are you?"

"I'm great so what's new? Haven't seen you in forever!"

"Not much, yeah we should hangout!"

"Tomorrow work?"

"Yeah I'll pick you up around 5ish?"

"Sure! I gotta go to volleyball bye!"

"Bye."

Now if Azaria knew about this I'd be killed, I don't know if this is right. But I just need a break, and that's okay of me to do. It's not cheating if I don't touch her or do anything, just a little flirting never hurt anyone.

I picked up Lily, she had on a white crop top and shorts, completely stunning. She greeted me with a hug.

"Where to?" I asked with a smile.

"Let's go do some lame shit." She began to laugh.

I drove down the road, got some Taco Bell and then got out to walk around the park. We sat down, slowly I grabbed her hand. I told her how beautiful she looked, then slowly. So gingerly I planted my lips upon hers. Then it hit me, what I was doing.

The pain, how hurt Azaria will be. The worst part is it's my fault, I created the problem. The feelings that she is soon to possess, she needs me. I'm supposed to be everything, and I fucked it all up.

"Uh, I have to go. Do you need a ride?"

"No that's okay!"

While punching in Azaria's number, my phone died. She was the only individual I wanted to talk to at this point. I threw my phone in the glove box, and forcefully  shut it.

I was finally home, and threw myself against my bed. Pressing my face into my pillow, screaming my fucking lungs out. I stood back up, clenched my teeth, and closed my hands creating a fist. I began to walk back and forth, I looked at my options.

I spoke out loud to myself "Alright, if you tell Azaria you'll lose her, and she'll be hurt. But if you keep it from Azaria the guilt will destroy you. She'll eventually find out and be hurt, you'll lose her. Either fucking way I'm hurting the person I love the most. How the hell could I be so stupid?"

I slammed my hand on my shelf causing my trophies to fall and break. Consciously I sat down, pulled my covers over my body. My heart was pounding so aggressively, adrenaline took over my body.

I couldn't lose Azaria, it's not a damn option. Realizing this couldn't be undone, a single tear raced down my cheek. I haven't cried in years, never over a girl.

I know I will lose the girl of my dreams, she'll be gone by the very next day. For when the Sun rises the next morning my universe will fall apart. I'll be lost in the utter darkness. My loneliness will consume me, now it's only a matter of time. Filled completely with disappointment I then drifted asleep, knowing I'd awaken to the most horrid day.