The Darkness of The Sun

Chapter 5

Grant

I stopped crying, and I knew I wasn't the real one in pain. I've known Azaria so long I felt what she was going to do. Nothing would stop her, when she wants something... she'll get it.

4:59 a.m.

The engine started, I grasped the wheel tight while putting the car in reverse. Looking behind, I pulled out of the driveway. I turned on the mix tape she made me, even though her music still sounds shitty I listen everyday.

Racing down the highway, slowly entering her neighborhood. I infiltrating her apartment with the spare key she gave me months prior.

It was silent, I heard nothing.

"Azaria!"

I ran to her room, she wasn't insight. Then I saw the bathroom door, open the slightest. Step by step approaching the door my heart beat became a little faster. Until I opened the door and looked.

"Azaria no! You're okay, you're fine." I tried to remain calm.

Noticing she was unconscious, glancing down. Her wrist slit numerous times, it dishearten me. I tried to stop the bleeding while holding her in my arms, however I couldn't.

Each breath of hers grew shorter, more shallow. I called 911, they came and took her from me. Since we weren't married, nor was I a family member I was not allowed to be with her.

So I sat there, covered in blood thinking. She had nothing, no one. Her dad left her family so long ago, her mom died when she was 15. No friends, family, no one.

Selfishly I robbed her of happiness, I created a mess. It was me, she cried for help I just ignored her. Giving up almost every opportunity to make her smile, I've failed.

Azaria was alone, and I made her even more lonely. The worst part is I was too blind, too blind for far too long. It took a drastic mistake, severely unfortunate horrible event to take place just for me to notice. For me to recognize the unthinkable suffering my love went through, is still going through.

She tried so hard to express, to show me. But I never knew, I never fucking knew someone could be so mad with who they are. So damn disturbed with themselves, and their life. I never knew, my beautiful Azaria held so much pain.

Now I fear there's nothing I can do, I'm too late to help her. However it's the only thing I want to do, I want to hold her in my arms, kiss her goodnight, and explain how much she means to me. Everyday I want to prove her significance to me, provide the love she deserves. I want to do that for her.