The Darkness of The Sun

Chapter 24

Azaria

Then it happened, death caught up to Grant. Looking down at his face in the hospital, he grew colder by the second. The beeps weak and shallow, came to a stop. Smashing into an ear piercing beep held out. They tried to save him, but. He was gone.

You see, that's death. It didn't matter how it occurred and struck the individual, either way they were gone. Slipping away, no matter how much force you use to stop the action they are still taken. Taken from the arms of someone who loved them more than they could ever love themselves.

You don't get that last goodbye. The last "I love you", last kiss. The end decides itself, so abruptly. The last I heard from Grant was happiness, laughter that was so pure. We were the happiest people on Earth. But in this world, happiness was not meant to be felt for long. With this I know Grants death doesn't have to be a story, the last event of his life. He simply is gone, from me forever.

Sitting in utter shock for awhile, gave me time to think. I thought about ever smile we shared, every laugh we witnessed of one another. The bright happy times, and the terrifying dark times as well. Every little word he spit out of his heavenly lips. The harsh cold words, to the warm elegant soothing words. His hugs, each kiss that was filled with love. I guess all that I was left to feel was, guilt.

Guilty for wasting our time with my pain. Making it about me, at this point I didn't even know if he had any issues or problems. Far too caught up in the waves of feelings that stuck me daily. Guilty for blinding the love he had for me, he loved me so much. Grant loved me so damn much.

Eventually I was forced to leave, I went back to the hotel room, packed up, and flew home. His body would arrive days later for the funeral. Before I knew it I was back in our apartment.

I cried so hard until suddenly the river grew dry, my eyes held nothing. I was completely numb. Not being able to feel my emotions, except one thing. The rage filled my body. Throwing every breakable item on the floor, I was never so furious. Finally every plate, glass, most everything was destroyed. I walked to the balcony, and looked into the stars in the sky.

"He views me as the Sun. But he's the Moon, we were never meant to be together. However the love was too strong to break the cycle. Rising each day in hopes of getting to one another."

Days pasted. I tried to sleep and to eat, but it didn't seem appealing. Mentally and physically drained and exhausted. I cried 6 or more times a day, but the tears didn't help. Sitting in bed hoping to find peace or a sign, it never came.

I began to think, back when I wanted to die, how Grant felt. Then I remembered the letter, the letter that sat in the roses beside me in the hospital. The letter from Grant I never read it, nor opened it.

I forced my aching body up I scrambled to find the letter. Trashing our room until finally, I found it. In the back pocket of Grants pants he wore when he picked me up from the hospital, there it was.

I opened it.