Fate ~ Shawn Mendes

Chapter 35

I had just parked my car and was waiting in the elevator to reach the top floor where Shawn's condo laid in waiting.
The doors pinged open and I stepped out with my shopping bags dragging me down as I navigated through all the shit in my bag for the keys to the lock. Finding them I start to insert them in the key hole when the door is suddenly flung open revealing (a very distressed?) Shawn.
"Everything ok Sh-"
He grabbed my jacket causing me to stumble inside, my bags falling on the hallway floor.
Pushing me up against the wall he had me trapped beneath him as he gazed intensely into my eyes.
"Subtle." I giggled.
"You have no idea how much those photos did to me." Shawn smirked.
"No." I replied. "But I have a feeling I'm about to find out."
Shawn's smirk grew even wider and he started to kiss my lips passionately as his two hands remained either side of my head on the wall keeping me in prisoned beneath him.
The passion was like fire that was refuelled as the embers started to die out. We kissed like we had never kissed before, not wanting to let our fire die. I pushed Shawn away and off of me causing him to stumble slightly into the lounge area. I quickly removed my jacket from around my shoulders and made my way back to Shawn. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed his body back as he fell into the couch to which I then climbed on top of him.
His hands came to my face, reconnecting our lips and passion, my hair hanging either side of me face as I straddled Shawn's body.
I moved from Shawn's lips to his neck, biting and sucking lightly on his skin beneath his ear.
Light moans escaped his lips while his hands gripped at my thighs and ass.
"You've forgotten one thing." Shawn whispered bringing my face back in front of his.
"What's that?" I whispered back before kissing his lips and quickly turning it into a make out session. His hands trailed up my waist and to the front of my jeans undoing the button.
He pulled apart, our lips barely touching.
"I'm always on top." He smirked and before I knew it he had flipped us over like a pancake. Shawn quickly pulled off my boots before yanking down my jeans.
As he looked back up to take off my pants he had a puzzled look take over his face.
"It's a bodysuit." I laughed.
"I don't care what it is, I want to know how I get it off you." He chuckled back.
I stood up kissing his lips tenderly as I did and placing my hand at his cheek as I started to back away.
"Like this." I whispered.
I started to take off my body suit, pulling the spaghetti straps from off my shoulders as I entered the bedroom and then allowing it to cascade down my body, falling to a pile on the floor.
I turned my head over my shoulder and saw Shawn staring in amazement, his mouth slightly open and his eyes fixated on me.
Like a ninja he jumped over the couch and ran at me as I stood in the doorway of the bedroom, tackling me onto the bed with such a force I had no chance fighting back.
"You are so fucking sexy." He stared down my body, his hand trailing down my chest and stomach before coming back up and pushing my hair behind my ear. "You know that right?"
I didn't reply. I just stared into his eyes as I thought about myself, not how Shawn saw me or how my mom saw me. How I saw me.
There was always something wrong with me. I was the friend at school who never had a boyfriend, I was the one who got the messages from guys asking for my friends number.
"Clara?"
"I don't know." I confessed shaking my head.
"What?" Shawn's face saddened as he sat up and pulled me with him, my one arm grabbing a pillow and hugging it so my chest was hidden. "Clara, what do you mean?"
"I'm not Shawn." I looked up at him in the eyes, my fingers playing with the edges of the pillow case. "Sometimes I look at you and I think how the hell, why the hell would someone like you be with someone like me." My eyes started to water as I swallowed looking at the window then back to Shawn. "I have nothing to give you, I don't have a home, money, I have nothing and yet you give me everything."
"Your wrong." Shawn shook his head. "I look at you and think the exact same thing."
"You can't say that." I raised my voice causing Shawn to look shocked. "Your Shawn Mendes, every girl that knows your name wants to be with you. Your like some sex god from the Greek mythology and I look at tabloids and see you standing next to, to me."
"I can say that." He demanded. "And do you know why?"
I shook my head as he leaned his head a little closer.
"Because to me you are everything. I don't want to wake up to someone else in the morning complaining that I have an interview. I wouldn't want anyone else watching me from backstage, or cooking me dinner as I make my way home. I don't want anyone else. I want you."
"It's still not enough." I whispered as my eyes began to water, a tear escaping and rolling down my cheek. "I still can't give you what you deserve."
"I only ask you to give me one thing Clara."
"And what's that."
"All I ever want from you is your love. Because your love is my drug, my own personal drug. Without it I cannot live or go on. I need you. I need you survive. And if you can give me the love that I can give you, then that's ok. Your so beautiful Clara, you have no idea how wild you make me. In public I just want to kiss you, at home I just want to hold you and never let you go, every minute of every day I think about how much you deserve. I don't fuck you, I make love to you."
I could see tears start to form in Shawn's eyes as he spoke to me, the passion in his voice like the thirst of an animal in a desert.
"I love you Clara. Nothing will ever change that."
"I love you too." I whispered.
Shawn gently leant in and kissed my lips, it was soft and gentle yet passionate. There was no hunger for more or desperation. It was just two people who love each other, kissing.
I had waited a long time for that. I always dreamt about someone speaking to me like I was the only person in the world, their one and truly. I started to believe it was only in the movies. Shawn is definitive proof that it's real. "No ones ever loved you the way I love you." I whispered to Shawn.
"Your wrong again. Because I love you more."
The rest of the night Shawn and I didn't have sex, we didn't make love or fuck, we made dinner and watched a movie until we both fell asleep in the arms of one another.
It was perfect.
Too perfect.

Hey Y'all!
Thank you for your patience with this book, it's coming a long nicely and my term at school is nearly up so I then have a couple of weeks off to write to my hearts content! :)
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