Slipped Away

Part 45

(?)

It's a good thing that we have Sundays off because we have not had not much time to sight see and just chill. We took a bus and visited all the local shops
around town and even looked for apartments. There was a nice little ground floor apartment near the beach but the first month's rent was more than what we had right
now. We found this one little shop that sold paintings and there was one that reminded me of the one I saw when I was with Aunt Starr at the show we went to. I would have bought it but they wanted $800.

(?)

I don't know if I should laugh or pull my hair out. It seems whenever things start to go good for me, they fall apart again. The party Saturday night was a disaster, Justine is gone, and I
broke a promise to myself. The night started off good, Justine and I were able to find some nice clothes to wear for the party (it was casual dress) and when we showed up
there was already four people there. Carla's friend Licia was the one giving the party and she was just as nice and well dressed as Carla. Her apartment was just gorgeous
and the paintings she had hung up on her wall we're the most beautiful things I have ever saw.
We sat down on the oversized couch while Licia went into the kitchen and came back with two glasses of wine for us. After five minutes some one lit a joint and passed it around. When it got to us I refused it but Justine gladly took it. Almost instantly I felt like I did when Lou and I went to parties and I was the only one square because I wasn't getting high.
By the time we left and went back to our apartment, Justine was high but not so much so that she didn't know what was going on around her. I guess the wine got to my head because I decided to tell her how I felt about her. I only had a couple of glasses but I guess it was strong and that was enough. Anyway, I told her that I always liked her since meeting her in Kenny's and that I wanted her to know. She totally flipped then, calling me a no good Queer and screaming that I just used her for her money so I could leave. She said I was disgusting and never wanted to see me again. I tried to tell her that's not true and I never used her for her money but she was already packing and out the door before
I could finish what I was saying.
I tried sleeping, but I couldn't. I sat on the little bed in our shithole apartment I was most likely gonna have to leave because I couldn't afford the rent by myself and cried for an hour, wishing I was dead.
Everything I touched turned to shit it seemed. After I cried I decided to go out and wander around and saw Justine with some guy and I immediately turned around and
went looking for someone that might be holding. I had saved at least $900 and I had made up my mind that I was gonna split this scene and maybe head to Southern
California. Maybe Haight-Ashbury. I really dug it there.
I want to be as far away from Justine and this whole screwed up scene as fast as possible. The only thing here I will miss is Mr. Robbins and the jewelry store. I'd
tell him I'm leaving but then I'd have to lie and he's been so nice I just couldn't do that. Maybe I will get lucky one of these times and overdose like the kids you read
about in the paper.