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Freedom comes with a heavy price to pay; some it may be simply abiding by silly parental rules- but for most, it's giving up the body and mind of poor helpless souls.
I grew up wanting nothing more than proper leather on my feet, and a warm biscuit to go with a cup of much needed Horlicks.
Of course, at a young age we find ourselves wishing too much, and acting carelessly to achieve the impossible. I started in the factory when I was just 7- too young to understand that the smell could rub off, but the deed itself couldn't.
Every bird on my body aches; its calling and haunting my nights I often spend alone in the Dormitory I'm forced to dwell in. Taehyung has made it adamant that his sleeping arrangements will be entirely decided by the secret lover he claims to indulge his happiness in.
And, Jimin doesn't stir like he used to long ago.
I picked him up after seeing that smile of his; so innocent and pure despite seeing everything he's walked through.
I'm sure he's also noticed the changes crawling around the floor like a rat in an inescapable ditch-
We don't share meals together no more because I'm off and about most nights, clinging to young love that tastes so sweet. Like cake crumbs tucked away in your fingernails.
Our family tree is shaking...
Or better yet, growing.
____________
"I've brought back a few apple tarts, so try to eat something before indulging in sweets."
I say gently to Jimin, who's ass is sat against the living room wall sniffing from a cold.
"Where were you?" He asks, rather loudly despite the Dormitory rule.
"I went to a restaurant downtown... Decided to take Jungkook there for breakfast."
I place the box of leftover sweets on the glass table, seeing to Jimin and placing my hand on his forehead.
He looks up at me, his face gone right pale yet his eyes, as angry as ever.
"I've never questioned your authority. You've always known what to do when we cannot pull through; when we've gone weak and lost within our minds... yet this... this isn't right."
He mumbles, his eyes dropping to the floor.
"Did you kiss him..? Have you had sex with him..? Have you gone and tainted our brotherhood?!"
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Tears soon fall from his cheeks as I join him against the wall; staring straight ahead. No, I'd never taint our family with rule-breaking, taboo ideals.. but is it wrong to want to love..?
"I was worried that Taehyung might have found himself in trouble with an unsightly woman- someone who forced him on into a tight leash.. So I followed him."
He began, wiping at his eyes.
"I followed him out and found that there was no woman leading him away, but a man.. Kim Namjoon's hands frivolously fondling his body on the bar as if he had... done so before."
I look at him now, my eyes wide- not in anger or disbelief, but in shock that such a secret.. would be told aloud by Jimin's loyal mouth.
"They proceeded to exchange glances... skin exposed and sounds so disgusting I couldn't help but... throw up all over my shoes."
That's right... while I mindlessly played "lover" with Jungkook, I'd let Jimin's past slip from my mind like the wind.
"Jimin.. Those men can't touch you anymore. You're safe and-"
"Save it.. please."
He grumbles angrily. "I've heard it all. But it can't change it can it?"
I stay silent, using the sound of our breathing as an aid to calm him.
"Rape... and Love will never equate."
The words fall off my tongue like a running tap, my arm pulling him close as his nasty fever sweats itself out.
Once in a blue moon.. I understood where Jimin lay. I knew that if humans had a life written in stone by god, they were to follow it by any means necessary.
But now... I've found something- someone, I want to protect. Someone I can protect.
This doesn't make me hate Jimin, instead, it makes me want to reach even farther.. maybe If I try hard enough.. I'll catch up to the little boy running through a field of sweet potatoes and flowers.
___________ A/N:
Horlicks is a hot(or cold) drink sometimes used as a Sleeping Aid.
I'm watching too much 'call the midwife' so forgive me if my writing turns a bit 1968 British.
