This Thing Called Love

-nikki-

Tonight I'm feeling completely drained. If I'm being completely honest, I haven't been feeling like myself since last week. Roman and the kiss that happened is just tearing me apart. I don't know what to do with myself. 

I walked to catering and reached for a water bottle but I felt someone place their hand on my back. I turned my head and saw John. "Oh, John." I saw as his smile faded. "You look like you were expecting someone else." I turned to face him, shaking my head. "Um, no.. I just didn't know it was you."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side. "Nicole, what's been going on with-" I slipped my hand out of his. "John, I'm fine.. Just a little exhausted." He nodded and pulled me close. "Then how about we call it an early night?"

I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him off. "John.. Don't." He stepped back and looked at me, shocked. "I'm sorry-" "What is wrong with you? Ever since last week, you're like in a daze or something." "John, I'm just a little tired from all the traveling."

I looked at him. I used to look at John and feel think of him as the greatest guy ever but now, it was like looking at a stranger. I felt my hands tighten around the water bottle, guilt coursing through me. How is it that in such a short amount of time Roman can cause me too lose feelings for another guy.

"Nicole?" I snapped my head to John, jumping out of my thoughts. "Yeah?" "I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to get focused-" I rolled my eyes and roughly handed John the water bottle. "I know, I need to be focused on your damn matches.. Don't worry I will be." 

I turned and walked away feeling drained and stressed.. One guy leaves me emotional drained, the other one leaves me physically stressed. What am I supposed to do now?